Saturday 17 April 2021
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When the claws come out

The dictionary definition of a catfight is: an intense fight or argument especially between two women. The dictionary neglects to say “generally over a man”.

“Firstly, men don’t get confused. By that I mean, you don’t see men stopping you in the department store, asking you if something makes their butt look big, do you?  No. And do you know why?  Because men don’t agonise over what they want; they see, they like, they buy.  The end.  And as quiet as it’s kept, men do the same thing with women all the time, they see, they like, they buy and if he hasn’t bought, well, then that means he doesn’t ‘like’,” says Truly Sylvia.

So why then do we find women who squabble over a guy, take the squabble online for all and sundry to see and then take it to the extreme level where they engage each other physically over a guy? Why do women allow themselves to be demeaned in that manner and do it shamelessly in the public eye?

Women fighting over a guy has become so normal that we have forgotten how abnormal it really is. When women fight over a guy, they are fighting each other instead of confronting the person who is at the centre of their squabble.

Your single job as a single woman is to make him chase you; to the exclusion of everything else. Men are hunters after all. So when you chase him and then have an online or physical fight with another woman over him, just think how that makes YOU look. One guy, two girls and a whole lot of drama. It is prolific and in our faces all the time in movies, music videos and sadly in real life.

In Namibia, we have witnessed the full scale cat fight of Dillish and Meriam Kaxuxwena. And of course, at the centre we find a man.

These love triangles where women fight each other are everywhere and it is a shame, especially when there are so many things women should be focused on than battling ‘the other woman’. You slander her name, stalk her socials, harass her online, if you see her in public you have the nerve to attack. All the nonsense happening and both parties don’t realise that they are getting played!

You’re fighting over this dude and dude is sitting back amused, watching you fight for his attention and waiting for you to get done, so he can get back to dealing with both of you.
He really doesn’t care how all the fighting is affecting either of you as long as when it’s done he gets the benefits he wants.

It can be a very difficult situation for a woman to find herself in where she is vying for her guy’s attention with another woman. Usually it is really easy to get mad at the ‘interfering party’ instead of the offender because it is harder to deal with the truth that you simply are not special enough and cannot hold his attention, ie: he’s just not that into you. If you have to fight another woman for a man then he probably is not the man for you. Let it go.

“Men commit to women out of fear. Why do I say that? Well, because when a guy loves you, he’s sort of afraid to lose you.  And if he fears losing you, he won’t intentionally do anything (or anyone) that would cause you to walk away.  He can literally stroll past dozens of women on the street who look just as good as you, but never seriously entertain the notion of being with any of them because he’s too afraid of what life would be like without you. He’ll even give up the coveted bachelor lifestyle and become a doting family man, if it means keeping you around. That’s what fear will do for a man in love. Imagine for a second though, what would happen if there was no fear,” says Sylvia.

There are a million reasons why a woman shouldn’t bother with fighting to keep your man, the clearest is that it is his choice to do what he wants to do. You might not agree with that choice and he might be a douche for making the choice, but it is his adult right to make bad decisions. Let him. It’s his loss.

“Are you fighting for your man, trying desperately to keep him away from other women? Why? You do know that if he is thinking of cheating on you or if he has cheated on you, he will more than likely do it to you again and again, right? So don’t delay the inevitable and just walk away from him and his drama schemes.”

Recently a triangle unfolded and went horribly awry when Namibian personalities Dillish Mathews and Maria Kaxuxwena (MK) and international footballer Emmanuel Adebayor.

The trouble started when Maria subbed Dillish on the swimsuit she was wearing and it all went downhill from there, until the ladies had a physical altercation at a popular nightclub in the capital city.

Was it all worth the embarrassment, well, that is for you to decide.

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