Saturday 10 April 2021
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What independence did we celebrate last week?

So while some of us travelled to see the Brave Warriors being molested one round for nothing in Lusaka, I understand the Chief traveler fed the Independence celebrators with the Harambee Food Bank parcels.

A malnourished vienna, masbanker fish heads fried with recycled engine oil, a Hepatitis-stricken brotchen that was as dry as the hopes of those who attended, is what a 29 year-old country could feed half a stadium full of kids and bored Swapo supporters.

What were we celebrating last week by the way?

First of all, Independence Day celebrations have become so out of touch with anything worth celebrating. Even Kasi Vibes and a one-man show by Shikololo can pull more crowds than all government public holidays put together. If the whites knew that our own black people were going to molest us like this, I’m pretty sure they would have decided to keep Katutura as it is and maybe have built another location for the Kavangos.

But let us celebrate.

Let us celebrate 29 years of still needing to go with an umbrella to a national stadium to watch peanuts-paid players being insulted for not scoring, when they have never seen anything go through in this country.

Let us celebrate 29 years of oblivion. Nobody knows fokol. Not even the guy you voted for. He knows [email protected] about what you eat before going to bed neither does he know that the same guy that’s supposed to protect you wants to sex you for a plot or a promotion. He does not because he knows only himself.

Yes, Namibia is a 29-year old black midget with Chinese eyes. At 29, the country is fully Chinese and everything is foreign including the land they fought for. Everything has become cheap for the elites and the poor have resorted to Gin and Tonic.

Let’s celebrate 29 years of unemployment. At least the colonial whites employed according to he/she who was in front of the line-up. Until Geingob, Nuyoma, Nambundunga and all Swapo surnames became top requirements to earn a top job in government. This is on top of your Wambo struggle credentials and your ability to open your legs for lieutenant Ndalinoshisho.

Should we also celebrate 29 years of idiot toppies who call themselves men? Yes, the idiots who have for 29 years killed our women just because she gave the cookie to another idiot who she thought deserved it better. Independence also birthed 29 years of stupid women who pull the plug on innocent babies just because they have realised that opening their legs for Paulus was a mistake. What did you expect after having sex without a condom? A textbook or what? So yes, we still have those in our midst.

You are homeless, broke, have kids from five different Harambee projects and you know Shikesho is coming for your ghetto. You are only useful for rallies and doing volunteer work.

Wait, you were promised that if you joined the Women and Men Network you would be recruited into the Police mara eish. Now the Police are not recruiting and you know what it takes to join the army. So what about 29 are you celebrating when even those born on the day are broke but still gay.

Should I talk about how those in power have stolen more than 29 times each and continue telling you to wait for your time to eat? Or should I remind you that one of them told you that you only complain because you are not eating? Or do you wanna check out how and why those who used to make noise about corruption are now quiet after being made PA’s of politicians only good for picking up spoiled kids from private schools and taking them to private hospitals? They are eating.

Should we also celebrate how all land has divided Namibian tribes? All the Wamboes have taken over everything including your virginity. Now all the tribes are bitter with each other.

The Hereros want their land and the Namas are just angry. The Kavangos are tired of being security guards for the Wamboes and the Coloureds just want Khomasdal for themselves.

While you continue fighting for 29 years, the people eating are united and will not be defeated by tribal spats. You are still divided like side chicks who don’t even know what they are fighting for besides the boss-madam spot.

It is only in Namibia where you find a 29-year old still living in his parents’ house and cannot afford a Jan Japan third hand car. The 29-year old with a degree cannot even make it for a receptionist job in a lokasie bakery. Yes, it is only in Namibia where graduates are being employed as interns and even with their postgraduate degrees, they are paid less than a petrol jockey on probation.

For as long as we continue just making noise on social media about how our leaders remain in transit at State House and not doing anything at home, we will remain just good for independence celebrations and elections.

Next year, we will celebrate the same sh!t but you will be 30 and still have sh!t.

Viva Namibia Land of the Brave.

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