Saturday 17 April 2021
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Grow up and Settle down

Let’s get it straight, f***g around has an expiry date. There is a time for that shit when everybody looks at you and claps hands for your game, but after some time, it’s no longer fun at your age. People want inspiration and something to follow.

Just like it’s shocking to hear that the bitch who everyone in the street chopped is now in a serious relationship, we will not judge you for taking a leap of seriousness in your life. Just start because some people younger than you have put their toys away already.

Here is the thing, no one wants to dictate to you when you should do certain things because unfortunately we don’t all start off at the same footing. There is a time to study and finish school, then there is time to chop your salary and no one should feel the need to balance things. After that comes the time you should use to make your money useful because you will need to show something. Then maybe get a partner, get married and let your salary take care of your family.
It might not be the exact same sequence we need to go through but at least it is the normal way of doing things. But no, we just want to play. I’m sure if our parents knew what we would be up to by the age of 30 to 40, most of them would have opted to pull out or just not do the deed at all because you are a shame to maturity.

You cannot be 30 and still searching. What do you expect to find? If you are 30 and only starting to look for love at that age, chances are you will only find those who are hurt and looking for a second or third or fourth chance in life to redeem themselves.

And then there are the over 30 year olds who just want to be playing high school girls, at that age. In as much as we are responsible for most breakdowns, I would also like to pull up some hang-gat Pep jeans and tell you to grow up.

It is already sad enough to know that we men take long to mature but that does not mean some of us should never grow up! How immature can you be that your thinking is a reflection of the direction of your penis after finding out the beautiful girl from behind is pregnant from the front?

When I was a little boy, the first thing I thought of buying was sweets because they excited me. But that was then and it was acceptable because I was dumb and my life was driven by excitement. Not after 30.

It becomes very idiotic when at an age reasonable enough to vote, all you think about is spending on vagina trading. Yes, it excites you but don’t you perhaps want to buy yourself some much needed roll-on? A bit of Shield, some Sunlight soap and a little Swankie will do.

It’s time you understand that women can afford anything and everything. If you have so much, use it on your sister in the village. I would also like to take this time to warn you old men who are busy dating young beauties and making the struggle hard for us: Be advised that we are also patiently waiting for your daughters so that we can do the same one day.

This may sound like something to laugh at, but men should really grow up and date their generation, or else. Stop the crap of telling us that you deserve to be respected. How do I respect a 40-year-old man whose wrinkled ass has been touched and poked by an 18-year-old confused juvenile?

Instead of talking about the number of women you have taken home, why don’t you rather tell the world the number of times you’ve helped out a relative in need?

Just because you did not have toys growing up does not mean women should fill that gap. Just like your mother, women are not toys. And stop threatening women with suicide if they leave you. How can a hair-chested man even have the brains to tell a woman that they cannot live without her? At your age! If you wish to end your life, do so. We have enough cowards so that would be minus one problem. That is why idiots like you get their wallets controlled by teens.

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