I am getting ready to make a speciality dish for the minions.
Sheep’s head and feet and intestines, some cooked some baked in an oven.
Walking through the store I recall that I need a few things in the house and I go to those particular aisles.
I remember almost bursting into tears the first time I walked into this grocery store and had to buy single ply toilet paper! Yoh my heart literally broke.
If ever I questioned God that was the moment, standing in that aisle where I was just like ‘no man Lord’…
I tend to have these really casual conversations with God throughout most of my normal day and so I was like ‘no man, Lord really? This toilet paper, really? How did we let me get here?!’
God of course did not answer me straight away but I am pretty sure He must have had a very good chuckle.
You see, ones circumstances in life can change in a heartbeat. You could literally be ‘up’ right now and a simple 2 minute telephone conversation can put you way down.
The challenge many of us have is how we cope with the curve balls life throws at us.
We can either get stuck in that rut of struggling and scraping and barely getting by, thus remaining negative and bitter and possibly going into depression because you just cannot now cope with the change in your circumstance and maybe you have people who are looking to you to take care of the, support them, maybe you have commitments that you have pledged to that now you are unable to fulfil, it can become a whirlpool of everything just going wrong and you not knowing what in the world you are to do.
Or we can rise above.
Sometimes when you are seemingly stuck in that place of darkness, it helps to talk.
And I say this with a smile on my face because most people who’ve been ‘up’ will find it extremely hard to speak to anyone about now being ‘down’.
And chances are that when you do speak about it, you probably won’t be as clear and up front as you should be because it is just embarrassing to admit that you are in this dark hole.
Meanwhile responsibilities are piling up and despondent feelings are piling up and feelings of being unworthy pile up and next thing you look at yourself in the mirror and your skin looks terrible and your hair is falling out in patches, your eyes are bloodshot and you are not getting enough sleep at night.
You’re not really thinking anything during those late night hours, but your mind just cannot seem to be at peace, it is filled with that constant noise, like the sound of the TV when you are busy searching for a new channel or in between stations on the radio.
Trepidation becomes your constant companion.
You hardly answer your phone because you don’t want anybody to know just how bad it has gotten and you know the next person who asks the simple ‘how are you?’ may be the one who gets the full barrage of it.
It is funny (not funny haha, but funny sad) how we can easily hide things from people.
Funny how nobody may ever know what we’re passing through – I say passing though because that is really what it is, it’s just a going all the way through something.
It’s funny how we never want to be vulnerable to the people who are supposed to be closest to us.
So now you finally scrape your courage together and you resolve to be honest with the next person who asks how you are and then they treat you like you are a liar.
How can things possibly be that bad? Why are you only talking now?
Don’t you know that you have people who you can talk to when you are in a situation?
The encounter leaves you with mixed feelings because although you’ve now opened up all you got was a lecture and really you need more practical assistance.
I’ve found that we are mostly big talkers. We know that the world is not all rosy.
We know that we or somebody whom we know could very easily go through something horrendous at any time.
We want to rather not know.
Because knowing leaves us with the burden of feeling responsible, somehow.
Or at the very least obligated to do something and we don’t want to have that kind of obligation.
Also dealing with somebody else’s serious issue head on is a vivid reminder that the same could just as easily happen to us and we don’t want that stark reminder.
We’d rather walk with a blindfold on and pretend we did not see, do not know what was going on.
This kind of apathy is true in many situations and circumstances and often we forget that we could perhaps have done the barest of minimum things to alleviate a situation that might have compounded and avalanched so much that our acquaintance may very well be buried under the burden of it.
But we are naturally selfish as human beings.
We consider ourselves as superior most times to others and we let that imagined superiority colour our thoughts, our understanding and our behaviour towards others.
We forget that everything is but for a season.
We forget that we are just as vulnerable to the changing of seasons as any other person.
And most importantly we forget that the seed we sow is undoubtedly the seed that we will reap.
My suggestion …
There’s that particular smell that tripe has, that specific deeply unique aroma that fills the house and that you need to use spices or vinegar to eradicate, I need to go tackle that now …