Saturday 17 April 2021
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Romancing a man

“It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World “ sings James Brown.  Since the days of the Bible, women have been trying to figure out the male species. In Genesis, it is written that “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. So it comes down to “her desire, his rule”. Ask for conflict and you may have a war of apocalyptic nature.

But women want to know – how do I get this guy to notice me ? How do I make myself interesting or irresistible to this guy ? Perhaps to say at the beginning that men are not a monolithic species nor do they operate on an algorithm.

So forget about “one size fits all”.  They are as unpredictable as the female species, notwithstanding the absence of monthly cycles and hormonal peaks or heat waves during menopause.

Some have said, it depends on the lifestyle of the particular individual. Apparently that will determine how much they expect from a lady who is trying to impress or romance them.

A lot can be said for how a person is raised and how they see the balance in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, what is deemed appropriate or whether or not to accept gifts of any kind from a woman.

Much of this remains a mystery but what is crystal clear is, that there are different levels to this ‘man’ thing and that some of them are comfortable enough with the bare minimum.

There’s the guy who you could easily impress by just making an effort with your outfit with and who needs you to always be courteous and presentable. In return, he will give you the world.
Then there is the guy who you have to take out to let him enjoy and show off that new outfit he bought, so him you take to an exclusive bar for a drink or to the latest show and let him take pictures and rub shoulders with some celebrities and you’d be in his good books for the longest time.

‘Cheese aka KBVDP’ says that the one thing that is very important to him is confidence and all that it encompasses.  He believes that a confident woman will know and understand her partner to the point where she will know what he is and isn’t comfortable with.

As such she will understand what it entails to romance him. (Personally, I had would rather have a root canal treatment than trying to figure this out).  This may very well be so, however it will take a considerably strong and patient woman to study ‘your persona’ before wanting to do something special for them.

Leon Miyen contends that there are stages of development in a relationship and that as it grows so too does the level of comfort with each other. Increasingly each party will be more comfortable with each other accepting this as a show of affection.

He personally would like to be pampered with colognes, weekends away and thoughtful little treasures daily that speaks to how his partner feels about him. (I am about to go into labour).

Most importantly, Xbox or Playstation!  “You can never go wrong with Xbox or Playstation.”   He particularly would appreciate the effort made and the fact that she would cover the costs would impress him and spur him on to do the same or even more for her in return.

What is clear is that indeed, there are different strokes for different folks.

Some men however may not too comfortable with the idea of their partner spending substantial amounts of money on them. They do not expect that, provided they feel appreciated and considered, never expecting anything in reciprocation.

Yet, there are other men who appear not to need anything done for them, not because they have a fear of it, but rather because they are used to footing their own bills and are used to being the ones doing the actual spoiling.  They are in the habit of wining, dining and are not afraid or unable to spend copious amounts of money on whomever they choose to be with, because it comes naturally to them.

If you find yourself in this kind of situation you will have to really do the most to romance and impress such a person because there is very little that will make much of a dent.  On the other hand it may just make a huge dent because chances are not many people may have ever tried to return their generosity.

Think private rooms at a popular 4 star restaurant or hotel, think a helicopter ride to a beach destination for a candle lit dinner, think a ridiculously expensive bottle of his favourite cologne or a trip do Dubai for a week.  Cause sis, if you can pull stunts like that then you’re a keeper for real!

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