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Sunday 18 August 2019
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Booty is not success

Is it true that women who fail to climb the academic ladder turn to slay queening? Im made to believe that after a woman realizes that the books and getting the office job is not her thing, she turns to the gym to tone her body so that men with money have something to look at. It is a given that weak men struggle finding their match at work so that girl who wakes up early to spend half her morning in the gym getting that booty is their last resort.

And God damn most of them can and come right fit under the sheets. Before we catch feelings, I’m cognizant of the successful at work and also well-toned by the gym, but that’s a limited number.

Today I tell you that booty is great, but for those who have come to rely on their looks and looks only, booty is not success. Get out of the gym and get a job. After work, go to school.

I am penning this one for my sisters. I’m reliably informed that I have not been too good to many of you so today I would like to speak to you from the heart, nothing but sweet love. I apologise in advance for the bitter tone.

Dear young sister, I love you so much and have nothing against you as you are just too young and innocent to beef with. But I’m concerned about your 2018 behavior. From ‘Warakata’ to ‘Omunye’, you have mastered the lyrics with great depth, but here you sit procrastinating on your education.

Because of you, we have all normalized the phenomenon that most sexy girls are either slay queens with zero education, but it is not so. You be here chasing older men with cars and behaving like a taxi while your boring friends are correcting their schooling mistakes because they know looks wont last.

You have the most complicated password on your phone but a simple ‘Swipe And Use’ for every men with a tie should they want to use you. You are impressed by what some guy has worked for and you think he is your way out of poverty but end up being used for your purity and disposed like a cheapest baby diaper.

From one man to another you are passed like a power bank and by the time you realise, you have become the Jackpot mastered by every Liverpool fan who knows tomorrow will be their day again. Every men likes what’s fresh on the market and trying out new things. After all, tourists too play with monkeys when they come to Africa.

Look around not so far from home. I’m sure you have a few aunties that are jobless, not married, and always uselessly going on about how those who work don’t give them a share of their salary. You find them chilling and telling stories about their youth at 11 while useful people are at work. All you will have to tell is your gym days and how every eye was on you but none actually stuck.

Take it from me; no man goes for cheap madams and especially for those with prize tags placed at the wrong places. Your cookie, beauty and fake eyelashes will not get you the ring madam – unless you too just wanna play. Ever wondered why men marry not so beautiful women? Men marry personalities, responsibility, maturity and role models to their children. And do not worry, you will wake up to this one day.

Just because he showers you with everything you need does not mean you will get the throne when all you give is sex and a good appearance at social events.

Men will, and can get you everything you want, but you are paying for it. When he is done, he is leaving your slaying queen ass for someone who can hold him up when things go wrong – an asset and not the liability that you are.

Its 67 days before December and you have nothing to tell yourself. Not even Satan will forgive your appearance and not to mention, your attempt to look redeemed. Your kilos have hit beyond market value and yet you expect a man from where vakwetu to come take you serious.

Humble your panties madam. If you have a child or two from different fathers, no man would apply to becoming a stepfather. It is a taboo so look for a job and stick with some married man hoping he divorces his 20-year old marriage. We the fresh men are going for the girls who recently graduated and have been admitted into new paying jobs.

The era of slaying queens has an expiry date and it’s on that day he decides to stop playing. We are dating ladies with pay slips and not make-up bags only – forget the body goals.

Dear sister, your current behavior as a teen will determine who you will be by 30. You have living examples to learn from and believe me, if you do not do better, you will just end up like them.

We see you with water bottles running around kama to lose weight that you already don’t have. But we also want to see you going to work.

Bitter love from your truly MfK




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