Saturday 19 June 2021
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Just because I can

There are just somethings people do, including yourself but you cannot explain why. I struggle with this question because, I don’t know.

Is it right to say some people deserve to be screwed? Why? Because I can! Some people actually ask for it.

Why do men cheat? I do not know. I do however know the type of women I would not want to have to cheat with. I have limits too, you know. On top of it, it’s not like they do not know I have plenty. And stupidly, they have no problem with it, so why should you care?

A text like ‘Please come over’ does not mean I want to talk or hear your house problems. That is why you have family and friends, so if you are not ready, don’t come. Otherwise there is no taxi money for you to return home.

We can solve your problems tomorrow. “Come over so we chill”, does not mean I want to hear your newly acquired problems. It’s a sex invite so don’t come and act blond.

By the way, I am thinking of purchasing my own car for a bit of flexibility. Not that I will be cheating more but just for a bit of mobility and with a view to extending my services to a few more.

Also, I want to run away from a habit that many guys are guilty of: Doing it in public. I’d rather do it in my car. You guys like wheels mos.

All the way from the caveman era to now, there has never been an instance of successful cat-calling.

And yet, it prevails. Do you really expect me to remember all your names? To avoid calling you the girl’s name from who I came from before coming to you, I will maar call you bubu. It’s simple.

During my four days out of town over the long weekend, I met a rather innocent and harmless number eight whom I pursued with the intentions of leaving a mark on that town. Got all that on day three and it was not an easy one. A day after I left, she asks me why I am not texting her. Seriously? Who campaigns after elections? When last did you see Hage?

I do not know if it is right but my side-chick’s best friend is the one. Times come when I wish I met her before the current one. I know it is an evil thought but it explains a lot about why Kasape refuses to introduce me to her pack of queens. She sends me more texts than the main side-chick, so can you really blame me? Plus it’s not like she doesn’t know. It has been done before so I may as well do it. Just because I can.

I like you as natural as possible. I will ignore you on the days when you shade your face with those odd colours.

Those new eyelashes and lipstick, I will ignore. Maybe you will get the hint that I like you for who you are before shading history on your face. It’s not like we are going far, by the way. I honestly just want to save you the hard work… for the right man.

That is if you ever find one because the current one may just be another chapter.

People like myself will have you devote all your years to us, only to realise I was the ‘Wrong Turn’ in your life. Women can sometimes be obstinate and remain devoted to guys who are not worth it.

Of course, you think he is going to change. Figure out a way to find out the how and share that with the rest. For now, I will keep the blind ones by my side. I have nothing to lose. I get her to plan a wedding (in her dreams) meanwhile I am planning the next date or invite. Just because I can.

The moral of the story? There are things we do (and I know many of my brothers out there do) just for the mere fact that we can. Awful, I know. I would not want the same for my loved one. So the least I could do is spilling a few of these ‘’things’’ and it’s up to you to choose to comprehend.

Do not be the reason heartless guys like myself do things just because they can. Stop wasting your life with someone who does not make time to think about the ‘wedding’.

Do not waste your time with someone who postpones your problems. Do not be with someone who does not want to date you every day. Your parents gave you a name and last time I checked, it was not bubu.

Keep a watchful eye and do not shake that hand. You never know where it has been resting. Or else you can go ahead and continue to be screwed. Do not say I never told you.

Just thinking out loud.

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