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Sunday 21 April 2019
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Brother, she is not yours alone

While it’s a given that men will always be caught with their pants down, it’s a different ballgame when it comes to women.

If you thought men are k#k, then you have not yet been lured into the life of women. Just as we have accepted that men are trash and dogs, there are women busy with sh#t in this country.

Brother…

If you are the kindest, sweetest and loyal hubby, bae or whatever she calls you – take it from me that she is already cheating. It is long encrypted into their DNA, so much so that even though they pray for good men, women don’t like good men like yourself. If they did, why do you think the best male cheaters have good wives?

Why do you think she whom you know in and out has ‘brother-zoned’ you, because you are too precious? Jay Z cheated, he is still married. That kwaito boy from your street is drunk and cheats every day, he still has his madam. Women don’t love sweet guys, they like us stupid –  so just know kutya she is already cheating.

If she frequently goes out on a ‘Ladies Night’ and you are not allowed to even drop her off, another nigger is playing your role bra. She tells you that her friend’s boyfriend will pick her up, chances are she will be sleeping over at her friends place because it will be too late to come home.

Her phone will be flat and she will do the honourable thing to call you telling you it’s at 2 percent. That ‘Ladies Night’ means she has gotten better company and you are not allowed to see sh#t. I mean, we men know nothing at all. We don’t even know the smell of balls and vagina defused in one room, so how the heck will you tell she slept under a living blanket?

The cousin or ‘just a friend’ without a name is the guy harvesting your hard work,  my brother. They never have names because they are probably many and since they are all cookiepreneurs, it’s safe to call them cousin.

The cousin calls at night sometimes and you will not question because its family affairs. He takes her out for kapana and you’re a## cannot tag along.

One day when the real cousin comes by, the finger is pointed to that one but that’s organized destruction my brother.

On social media, you are marketed amongst many others. One of course will be the cousin you know and the rest are idiots like you who think they have a position in her life. Do not even mind the captions placed on those pictures because that is deliberate confusion.

If you call or not, she does not care. Try this, skip a day without calling her in the morning. If you call her by lunch and she does not ask you about the routine good morning call, my brother, she is getting it from someone.

Unlike men, women are very grateful. It’s simple, if you don’t do it, someone else is doing it for you, for free nogals and obviously better.

If your third leg is deprived with height and circumference, chief, she only loves you. The rest, she is getting elsewhere. Every women will want to feel like a women in bed and no toothpick business makes profit.

And again, men don’t know shit. We don’t even know when she is faking it, which they frequently do just to make you feel like you wear the pants in the relationship. So when you start things you have no idea how they are finished, she takes the warm engine to the cousin who at least has an iron feast she can use to conclude your tickles.

When she answers her phone and puts her fingers on the sounds buttons, then you know that idiot just wants a piece of your meat. Watch how she just gives straight answers and if it’s a loyal side nigger, he is told that his call will be returned at another time because you are there mos.

That phone has a master password but the other guy knows how to crack it. She takes it with her to the shower under the pretext that she wants to listen to music. She is cheating my friend.

It’s life, chief. Women will make a way to fill in the blanks and there is nothing you can do. So while you are here demanding for respect, out there is a 21 year old school girl telling your father to behave. It’s life.

But why does she just not leave? She loves you and the other guys is just good for whatever you don’t have, but you are her man. Also maybe she is not leaving because she is afraid you will shoot her.

Sharpies




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