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Thursday 20 September 2018
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Get Your Thoughts Circumcised

This one is strictly for the guys. By the time you get to the climax of our session today, you will realise that today’s column has nothing to do with circumcision.

It’s no use telling grown men to get circumcised anyways. They will do what they want to do, and that’s that.

Guys who hate on other guys deserve to be banged by that taxi driver who parks his Corolla under the bridge at 11h00. I didn’t see you so don’t worry. I know you’re the type who gets a free ride to work in the morning and promises to pay around 11h00 when traffic is not that busy. We all know what happens there.

It has really come to my attention that a few self-proclaimed men who, rather than playing with their balls, spend time admiring what other guys have and for no reason hate on the beholder. Like for real.

Call me sexist but I thought this was a quality limited to women only. Even gay dudes don’t have time for this so why do you?

Praying for the day I get dumped by one on my gaggle of side chicks. Really?

It’s this type of graduated jealousy in a male body that makes me think they may have a mini vagina situated between their penis and anus.

I wish nothing more for these guys than a day when they would wake up with a healthy penetrable organ to store the hate.

If your apparent chick jumps on your friend or enemy, be content and appreciate that she has opted to go for greener pastures. Be content that another guy has his game on heat and she just happens to be feeling cold with you. It’s fine if you cannot bring the moist out of her, so accept that you cannot make it rain. Above all, take it as a lesson and get classes from the very same guy.

I advise you to get your thoughts circumcised. But I doubt you will do that since your penis head has never even felt the make of your boxer or trunkie.

I would like to remind you of a PDK song titled ‘Supplier’. Guys will be guys. There are those who will forever supply women with the goodies they need, and are happy to play daddy. On the other hand, there are a few of us who have no time to buy our way into the panty. We will share the same woman you pamper and sometimes we will even eat the pizza together. While you are the ‘supplier’, some of us will simply do the applying.

Face the brutal truth, bra.
Somebody needs to slap the hate out of you with a chilli hot vagina lip and make you realise that you need a hobby. Get your own and pray she does not come by my room.

For Satan’s sake, there are so many women in the kasi, not even I can have them all. Believe me, I tried but failed. There is a better woman than the one your friend has out there. Accept that he got her first and that’s that.

How I treat her and what I do with her is none of your dickhead’s business. So get yourself one or even two if you want to compete with me.

It is really not my fault that I have a better game. Even provided that I talk a lot of crap every Friday, I continue to take home a few. Face it, good women love bad boys yet complain when MfK strikes.

I am not the one to blame because such habits were here before some of us moved to the kasi. Read this scripture from Kasi Bible. ‘MfK 19:14’ reads, “Let the delectables come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of the kasi belongs to such as these.”

So there is really no need to hate on that guy with the feminine magnets. Because it does not affect him in any way. Instead of hating, join him because you surely cannot beat him. He can teach you a thing or two.

In the meantime, I’m busy building my kasi house. To p*ss you off even more, I will fill my kasi house with the women you dream of dating but instead of pursuing them, you are busy jerking off to haterade.

Do not hate me because I have the guts to go for beautiful women. Nor for my courage to approach them.

To stop the hating. Take time before you go to bed. Ask your inner gay friend (the real you), why am I hating on that guy? If you sound like a sissy when answering this question, get up and make things happen for yourself. Circumcise your thoughts and be a real man.

Bitter love from MfK, but no homo. Sharpies…

 

MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.




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