Friday 18 June 2021
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GRN and k*k – same WhatsApp group

Whoever told you that the government is the people and the people are the government deserves a hot p**s-klap for lying to you. This Hurricane education system f*cked us up since *91 to make sure we don’t see the daylight kak going on in this country.

The spaza head of the house is barely a kilometer off the ground and yours truly Nikanor has awarded himself Doctorate Degree in Philosophy in Education. Yes, that kak your single mother told you about studying hard to make it in life was just another lie. What she should have told you was to attend rallies, act like you care for whoever preached to you and eat the brotchens like you want to win the next tender. That is how you make it in life while the rest of the country goes to school.

I’m sure never did we ever fathom the idea of having Swapo’s ex-parrot lead this country. Mr. ‘Pull-in-one-direction’ is gone for a few weeks to a Chinese baby shower with his neck concubines and guess who’s in charge. The true power of aafonya recycled !

A friend of mine joked that it is perhaps time we just sold this country to the Chinese and each of us gets our share.

Meanwhile, in less than a second after Hage left, Mbumba is educated. In fact, if he was your ordinary graduate looking for a job, he would be overqualified. I bet you from today he will have an opinion on everything, the guy is a doctor now mos.

This really cripples my will to reason with politicians sometimes. The other day the gweri in charge of Omusati said women must become habituals at the maternity wards to see the population of the country increase. The gweri, of course is oblivious of the country’s ‘shoe string budget’ when it comes to matters outside politician’s salaries, said these brave baby-making-machines should be blessed with incentives such as a thank you token. Someone send me the guy’s daughters’ numbers.

The gwerie further cemented his thinking disability saying the country needs the population to attract the Chinese investors to our shores. Now, I’m not really so old but hearing this from a regional leader and a political potential for a ministerial post, eish it worries me about how far we have stretched this thing of ‘speak your mind Tom.’ They say there is no stupid answer and I’m starting to believe that it is not the answer but the author who we should question.

Do you realize that if people were not allowed to share their opinion unless they have studied the topic, most politicians would not be allowed to speak? And I’m not talking about political attained qualification.

I’m one who voted for four elections and have realized that this cabal called government and k*k are one and the same. In fact, they are on the same WhatsApp group. I will not be shocked if the uneducated supposed political educator is the admin.

The biggest bullshit is 28 years later, we are still being ruled by comrades who are young at 50. Biology dictates your thinking capacity but we all know that 90 percent of our cabinet have reached intellectual menopause.

If you want to investigate further, no female member in the current cabinet can get pregnant. That is why their talks will never favour children and the youth in general, except their families who they will do a proper shopping for in China. A source from our international airport says most of the president’s followers checked in empty bags.

It all started with our first leader, the most feared Wambo with everything named after him except development. The comrade who spent most of his time fighting from the neighbor tolerated everything but not ‘Resibians’ and ‘homosexualism’. The man forgot about development to make sure rectum salesmen remain in closets. If you want to thank him for anything, take your N$10 coin and pay for the applause. By the way, the comrade studied at Unam where he was chancellor. Political geology.

Then came Tate Lukas who didn’t care who tendered as long as there was peace and stability. It was during this time when vuvuzela babies Job and his unemployed activists were born. Only to tell us peace was boring, which is somehow true. Lukas is a peace time hero, nothing else was done besides introducing us to his look-alike daughter.

Now we have Omes, who traded his political inheritance for a bastion of a Chinese Life Insurance package.  The engineer behind the cabal distorting the constitution of Nazareth. Let me remind you Mr Big G, the fast-eating struggle orphan cares less about you and your feelings.

The Land of the G(B)rave will have to find the needle on the elephant shit if we are ever to see the light at the end of the ‘red, blue and green’ tunnel.

But we are yet to live another week in Mbumba’s ark. Journalists should take note: don’t call the man and expect an answer on the phone. The guy now has an office, have the respect and drop the man an email through his assistant.

For now, let’s sing to Sally’s ‘Faasuluka’ and ask Hurricane K to add us on the group while her dream boyfriend does not have access to WhatsApp.


MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.

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