Tuesday 11 May 2021
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So you beat your children?

A lengthy debate ensued a week ago on Nam-twitter whether beating children as a parent was the right thing to do.

The majority were obviously for it as they grew up being physically punished by their parents or guardians for the wrong acts they committed – And the rest, o h well let’s just say we weren’t in agreement.
I for once sided with the majority because as a child I was punished and scolded for being disobedient. My disobedience was not extreme but I did have a habit of coming home late. At the time I never really understood why it was wrong because my friend’s parents allowed their kids to go out till late and they would not get punished.
What I never realised then was that my parents would only punish me because of the fear they would be worried sick, wondering whether I was safe where ever I was, on a night out.
Now that I am older and more aware of the dangers that roam around at odd hours in our country, I understand. The lessons I learned from being disciplined are lessons I am thankful for because they have shaped me into being a better person.
But for some other children, being disciplined as a child was never something they deemed to be a good lesson.  To them it left a damaged relationship between their parents and themselves.  I assume this was caused by the way some parents disciplined their kids in an unethical manner.
There’s a difference between hitting your child probably the right way with a belt and just plain beating them with a whip or locking your kids out at night –  which I think is definitely unacceptable.
In many of our households hitting a kid never means that parents do not love their kids. It is merely seen as a way of teaching younger people to respect their elders.
Parents indeed have different ways in which they choose to bring their children up but at some point teaching them between wrong and right is very important even if it has to be done through the use of a belt or shoe.
If this is not done some children actually turn out really bad by thinking that disrespecting their parents is okay because nothing will ever be done unto them.This happens a lot in the UK. Well in that part of the world kids are not allowed to be hit by their parents no matter the circumstances. This then causes kids to go around insulting their elders and  at times they even lose their temper and this results in a physical fight with their parents.
In my limited view, this is very wrong and should never be condoned. Knowing that we are now in an era where we realise that certain ways of bringing up children were damaging; maybe we as new parents can start with newer methods of teaching discipline.
Or we can continue to use the discipline methods of upbringing up our own children that our parents used provided it is done in a manner that does not emotionally damage a child nor the relationship you may share with your kid.

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