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Thursday 17 January 2019
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Women and their ‘Mr Right’ wars

If everyone had a choice to choose their sex before they are born; we would have a world full of men. Even women hate being female and only the few who have come in touch with their reality have made peace of being comfortable.

Besides their ability to talk a lot, gossip a lot and not get slapped, I think the ultimate challenge for every woman is finding the right man. Some have started visiting our Windhoek West doctors while others have given up and opted put their tongues to good use. Thanks to churches that have come to teach them self-love and hope for greater days, we now have a few who are now kamma waiting for God to send them the right man.

My stance on nufu-preneurs and the double plugs is quite clear,but I have a soft spot for women who choose to bend for other women. Because finding a real man today is like looking for a virgin in a maternity ward.

I like the Bible and I enjoy Bible references. So let’s hope the world one day comes to an end as we are being lied to every year – that Jesus actually returns and says He is not here to punish your drunk behind but rather to take with him real men to go rent in the right compound of Heaven.

Most of the comrades will be found drunk, cheating as usual, gossiping, hating on those working hard and busy with things women have long abandoned. This is the very same reason I pity women because the struggle is just too real.

Let’s not fool each other, every woman wants and needs to be loved. It is only in circumstances where there is no forthcoming love that they humble their ambitions. But love enough is not what women want. Yes, he must be wealthy, have an MfK body, be socially fit, ambitious, must have passed basic mathematics and basic sociology, love the church and be able to recruit lost souls, must be a protector but not a security guard, have his flat and wheels or at least headed to that and be able to satisfy you sexually in and out of your government bed. If you find that guy, please let me know, I’m asking for a friend.

But what is the challenge? He is cute but not only to you. This is the number one issue with most women. All of them want cute men when they know very well that every other Kamwatu and Maria is after them. Cute guys on the other hand know that looks are all they have so they wouldn’t bother using it to lure you close and dispose you when you no longer serve the objective.

But not even that is too much of a struggle. Imagine you find the rich guy, but the idiot gives you po*sklaps every day, ask Cutie. We all know women’s love for money, but sadly many of those who have the money also have quick hands. Aish, kashipu.

And then you find the hardworking one who is forever busy and never gets time. Women who have settled for these men can confidently say they have side-niggers on speed dial. I mean, what do you do when the nigger the nigger is not even there when the red BMW has parked? Call the neighbour.

He is not like the taxi driver who at least texts you every day saying ‘Sweety sugar wange, come over quick quick.’ Nothing.

And then you find the one who is humble and seem to have a sense of direction in life but he is as broke as f@ck. He is that guy who satisfies you very well sexually that you even forget about your seventh commandment. But the idiot is just too broke to take home. And what’s worse is that he has no plans of getting out of the poverty life.

And then there is the serious guy who is just not romantic. He does not even have a grade 7 pass but gets angry when you correct him. These are the guys who jump everything including foreplay to go for the kill. Has zero interest in introductions, and should you take them one step back, you will hear the whole narrative of how women like wasting time.

Finally, you find the smart and cute ones that will lie to you even when they reply to a greeting. They are the promise bakers and have somehow been familiarized about what every woman needs in life. These are the guys that give us the ‘all men are trash’ tag.

I will not talk about the drunkards, slay mofies, f@ckboys and those who have reached their intellectual menopause because they do not even make the half-man cut.

Do not get me wrong, just because I could thank the Almighty for making me male does not mean I have no regard for women. I love women. My mother is a woman so it helps. So as we celebrate another one of the many ‘women days, on the calendar, let us recognize the sh#t they go through trying to find real gentlemen.

Epangelo nali talepo nawa opo.




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