When clouds form and the weather becomes so bedroom-inviting, the stupid ones sinfully think it is some message from God that they should have unprotected sex. To the rest of us, it’s that alarm tone that December is just around the corner and time to take stock of the year that was.
Today marks 44 days to go before we kiss and shrug off 2017. For some, it was just another birthday because that’s all they can remember, but many will use this time to do all that they could have done in more than 300 days but procrastinated.
If you can do it in the remaining days, I am not here to discourage you, but rather to talk about those that are still in the their chop-o-life sleep and wake up to another ‘Happy New Year’ show in-front of the City of Windhoek buildings.
So the year is almost over and all you have to show is your Instagram account with all the places you visited, bottles you drank and a gallery of “liker-minds” you screwed. Yes, all you have are photos of the ‘chip-in, chip-out’ picture taken in the front seat of someone’scar if not a rental – not forgetting your gweri tendencies of taking photos at road signs with your fingers pointed to your destination.
What else? Maybe the other thing you can celebrate is your leadership skills, as a WhatsApp group administrator of more than two groups. I know it is not easy being in power and controlling people, but since you do not even have a Lingua certificate, it should count as a great achievement.
On top of that, we can also celebrate your brave act of disciplining those who posted things that did not go in line with the group’s vision, but we will not mention how you flopped to discipline your own life. When people reflect on the role you have played in their lives this year, at least they will say you were such a good group administrator.
While we can ignore the economic situation, we can use it to blame why none of your job applications have been accepted. By now, just like last year, you know that your degree alone will not even lend you a cleaner’s job so go back to school or start from the bottom.
The only successful application you have had was your request for #AwehLite#, at least MTC loves you ngaa.
Yes, I can count the number of days we have left and you are still the side chick and no signs of a promotion, and from the look of things, I doubt you are getting a bonus by the end of the year. But while we are there, it is also important to note that your days with him are limited as from today.
It will not be long before he returns to his real woman, children and take the family out for that festive cruise. So do your planning right so that you don’t end up in the same place because it is hard looking at someone doing the job you failed to get.
It is also fair to add those who have not stepped on the altar – years after dating. It is almost the end of 2017 and you are still in a serious ‘relationship.’ Even clothes on Layby eventually leave the shelve and you are still in his bag, just there – literally not available for potential buyers but still not headed anywhere with your apparent partner. So please gather your thoughts, close your legs for a week and think of which leg to use stepping forward.
Let us also talk about those who were drunk all year long and will only be sober now when they think of the year gone to waste. Yes, all you have been doing and doing very well was drink all year long. Now December is around the corner and you have to think of what to take home. Your five kids need Christmas clothes and the baby mamas need their feeding allowances.
Gone are the days when it would be 11h00 and you were busy posting picture of alcohol. People were working while you were having conversations with the bar cleaners.
In 44 days it will be another year of struggles. A year you thought and planned to be better but it was all just to sound nice. But what did you do best this year. If I can sum it up, it would be with the following; drink, f*** around or probably get f***ed, insult people who are busy minding their lives, impress people who don’t care and spend on people who do not care wether you even own a face-cloth, keep praying for the fall of others and pay little attention on prayers of your rise, and basically do f****.
And lastly, in 44 days, we will enter 2018 with no arrival of Jesus or the end of the world.