Friday 23 April 2021
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The Undisciplined Child MfK

Men have feelings too

I know this is the least you expect me to say, but for the record, we [men] have feelings too you know. Genuine and human, feelings like any other human specie. For some reason I want to educate you a little bit today, without selling our game, on the mere existence of our feelings. Where they are positioned should not be an issue but rather their existence.

Every man has a heart neh. I’m not sure where it is positioned but it performs the same functions such as pumping blood, cry and help omit the truth when the need arises. But with all the bullsh#t that the opposite breed believes we have (even when they can never prove it), we still get hurt, especially when you act just like that.

Many of you see us rather as ATMs and see our company as a quick money making scheme. You walk past Cash Loans and treat us the very same way. You then come to us acting all innocent and give a ‘Wifey’ presentation only to chop our money.

I don’t know how we are placed in the category of the heartless when you are the one who suck us dry and dump us the moment our wallets have nothing. The same ladies who pay for no shit in their lives (even taxi money to come over) have the right-sized lips to call us dogs. You know what, it hurts.

You cannot just come chop my money and just dump me like that. It is really not fair. It is not easy losing someone you ‘loved’ not knowing that they didn’t love you at all, but your money.

Also, you cannot just be dumping us just because we cannot drive you. You who love cars so much; chances are that none of your older siblings ever bought the cheapest of vehicles, yet you are here having petrol-driven dreams.

It’s as if you were baptized with fuel or your family guards Autohaus. It is my car that my family helped me pick and pay for. Just because it is our mode of movement does not mean you should take me only for that reason.

I fail to comprehend how you get it right to only want us because of our wheels. How do you get it right to use us just because of our cars? I understand that you pay us accordingly but every other girl can do that.

Sometimes we get so attached to you and then your selfish butt just decides to dump us for the latest model. It hurts and, it puts unnecessary pressure on us.

Speaking of things that hurt us, I also want to tell you kutja you must stop cheating man. It does not even need to be behind my back, just stop it.

I know no man has the full package but stop being so selfish and appreciate what you have. It’s not like you have it all in the first place. I know women equally have a strong case on this but it is different when you cheat.

Your woman is like your car – you just do not give any stranger, not even your best friend, to drive your car with comfort. You know they will not drive it the same way you do. And even if they do, it is just not nice. So yes, the thought of another guy driving your car can be quite disturbing and even more, hurting. I cannot speak for women but cheating hurts men more than it does women.

That is why, to this date, no man ever forgave their loved one for cheating, unless the women is filthy rich or he wants to take a last bite. Just imagine how my friends will talk behind my back, walking around with someone who offered her private parts to another guy and returning home acting as if nothing happened. At least do the honourable thing and dump me – then leave.

I know we are all crafted in the image of God so this thing of dumping us due to our performance and the lack of blessings thereof is not nice also. You cannot dump me because of Biology coming short on some parts of my body. I would understand (a little bit even though it still hurts) if you dumped me for performance but it makes no sense to dump me for something I cannot change. Dr Moyo in Khomasdal has failed to increase the height and diameter so what do I do when that is all the Lord thought is enough for me?

A born again friend tells me that the comrade above will not give you what you cannot handle, so who are you to come and question God’s doing on my body? I guess it says a lot about your priorities but you should also just have the heart and understand me. It hurts.

And just by the way, please treat us with care and all fairness; we are the softest beings here. As your boyfriend, treat me as such and not as your father or some bank. You have a role to play as women, and it starts with making your man happy. He has feelings too.


MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.

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