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Sunday 21 April 2019
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Side Chick vs Main Chick – Same Difference

My love for side chicks grows by the day. I love them, especially if they know their place and are not bothered – after all, that is what they are. The rise of the side chicks known as ‘Assistant to Madam’ aka ATM (possibly registered as such in your hubby’s phone), has taken the pendulum with the weight no main chick ever imagined.

From my kasi understanding, the birth of the side chick was in the era when a woman realised that the comrade she wants, has taken by her grade 7 Class Captain friend.

Every man in a relationship has one or two, depending on the main chick’s deficiencies. It is normally the chick he wants but does not make the marriage quality chart. She is that madam who has nothing but her fine body. They are usually more beautiful than the main madam and are far exciting than the holy madam boss. As such, when madam refuses to go down or place her feet to her head, comrade will not worry because he knows the assistant will do it willingly – in fact, he does not have to ask.

Speaking about loyalty, the devil’s angels can keep a secret for as long as their allowance keeps coming. You are even blessed if you get that one that has hopes of a promotion to boss madam. You can meet them in town with your madam in town and see how they greet your wife with respect. In fact, they will tell them how blessed they are and how they should take care of their blessing. They will walk away with their head high knowing very well that their ‘happy hour’ will start after your town parade.

And don’t ask me why men love the side dishes more. Every man who decides they want to get married does not mean they are tired of playing around. Of course they will get married to a reserved woman because they want the best out of their children, but never belive the ring domesticated him, especially when you are all about protocol.

On the other hand, main chicks are all we need, every guy has one. It is only one even if he confesses to be in love with two. The main chick is nothing but a partner and mother figure. No one wants their child to be mothered by someone who wants to follow their friends to the club while they should be at home with the kids. I know you don’t want to hear that. The main chick is a partner, someone who can build you, pick you up when you fall, and remind you that you’re bigger than who you are today. Her physical features are normally not a big thing, a 5/10 will do. It is the brains that matter because you do not need a vuvuezela every time you get home.

If God was kind to give it all, then you are one in a million. It is a blessing and a curse because other men will be on her case so you cannot afford to slip up. We will talk about that later.

The main chick is your accountant, pastor and alarm. She is the person responsible for your house, and everything you have little time to care for. She is always there for your k#k and glory days, but most importantly, you need her to lift the mirror on you just so you are reminded that she has a ring on her finger, or better yet the – madam ready to take your sh#t.

So you ask me why he needs an ATM, that side dish is there to compliment you in areas where you do not fare so well.

But never be too comfortable with your main chick because the competition has left the bucket. Just like you have extra-benefits, she too has comrades knocking on her door. They approach her with the same proposal you give on the other side. They are ‘kama’ called side-niggers and you can only imagine how they handle your main chick in your absence.

A friend of mine says your woman is like your car. You do not want to give it to your friend to drive it because there is a high chance they will not drive it the same way you do. You can just imagine what that nigga will do to your wife. But she will come home and kiss you with her soft lips. Sweet!

So who wins, side chick or main chick, there is not nuch of a difference. The only difference is that one has a public profile while the other one shines in the background.

What do we take from this? Comrade, if you do not want your main chick to seek assistance from the neighbor, do her so good – so good that even if she cheats, she will come back because your signature is hard to copy. Madam on the side, you will never get the main spot, but you never know what the future holds. Play your cards right and learn from his wife – and maybe you might just win.

Sharpies…




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