Have you ever stood in front of a mirror before you stepped out of your bedroom and realized that you look absolutely perfect? No acne spots, no visible pores just a perfect complexion?
But when you look at yourself in the mirror when you get to work it’s a completely different image, an entire white face as though you had never had a touch of foundation and worse still, some acne marks visible.
You then grab some foundation, plaster it onto your face and oh well much better but not as good as the mirror back home indicated. So the “wow look at me” confidence becomes “please don’t look at me”.
I’ve been there and done that too. But I want us to look at this scenario from a friendship relationship and the kind of people we tend to accept or reject their perspective. Many of us have friends who are like the first mirror.
They tell us we are perfect just the way we are, they make our flaws and weaknesses seem invisible and tend to overlook any shortcomings. In other words, they tell us basically everything that we would want to hear. These are the friends we often refer to as our good friends.
Then we have other friends who are like the second mirror, the ones who are so good at pointing out our flaws and tell us the cold hard truth.
They tell us about our weaknesses, what needs to improve and what is just downright unacceptable. And these are the friends most of us have a hard time with. They are the ones we refer to as the jealous friends who always want to burst the bubbles of perfection that we create.
So of the two mirrors which one is good for us, which one would you pick to always carry arround? I would say choose to carry both with you. On the one hand, there is a mirror that celebrates your strengths and tends to tell you how awesome of a person you are. It is human to desire some kind of reassurance and approval, and whether we admit it or not we like to be recognized for the things we are good at, while our weaknesses are masked.
On the other side we have the second mirror, our own friends, not the so called haters, who are very good at pointing out our short comings. The kind of friends who call a spade a spade, the ones who do not sugar coat our situations and tell us we are flawed in our comprehension and perception. I call it constructive criticism and it’s really not bad.
The only important thing is to ensure that we strike a balance between the two to ensure self-improvement. It is high time that we stop living in denial because honestly none of us is absolutely perfect.
It does not make sense sticking to mirror number one only. Get some criticism from mirror number two and create a realistic profile of who you are. We need to work on our weaknesses and understand situations.
Let’s get off the “I’ve got haters” bandwagon because sometimes they are not haters. They are simply spotlights shining on the parts that need a little more work.