Friday 14 May 2021
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Our Upbringing Ruined Us

Growing up a girl is not a bed of roses. I am not saying this because we deal with periods and cramps but because we are dictated by many unfair double standards. We are judged by what we wear, our sexual choices and our ultimate worth which is dictated by our looks.

Have you ever thought why society treats us this way? Have you ever asked yourself why women are always at the receiving end of pity parties, dependency and all negativity?

You can blame it to no other than our upbringing. I am saying this because how we were brought up determines how we see ourselves as women and how we approach life.

The first lesson that we encounter as a girl child is to be dependent. I come from a generation where girls are provided with everything that they need whilst man are given little and hustle if they need more.

This is what makes us depended because if a girl is used to receiving everything she wants she will never think of working hard to get. And later when parents become unable to fully support their ‘little girls’ financially, it’s the boyfriends who suffer because ‘Baby I WANT that Louis Vuitton heel.

We need to get away with this and teach our girl children to WORK and SWEAT for what they want. I am not saying as a parent you shouldn’t provide for your children but what I am saying is that if Grace wants school shoes and a Barbie Doll, buy the school shoes and make her work for the doll.

The second lesson that we are taught is that certain things are ‘for boys’. We grow up with this idea in our heads that we can’t do certain things just because they’re out of the norm. I do not think it is right and I do not think that everything masculine is made for boys only.

If James is going to climb a tree let Jessica also go climb that tree. Yes if daddy needs help to fix the car let both the boy and girl child go help daddy because at the end of the day Jessica is also going to drive a car which will need fixing at some point.

It breaks my heart when a girl thinks that this world is too tough for her because she was taught to diminish her worth and potential just to fit into this little box that society has made for her.

Personally I was brought up by a man and I never got what I wanted but I got what I needed and I should say that it has worked for me. Today I know that if I want something which is not bread or soap I need to work for it.

Our parents might not have known better, but we do. Our parents raised us the way they had to but we need to know that we live in a world different from theirs.

Thus we need to raise our daughter differently however with knowledge of dignity. Let’s choose better for our girl children’s life choices, happiness choices and love choices. Let them know how to play men when they have to and when to play women.


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