God never loved you
So you think life is fair hey. Think again. Take a nosedive to into the mud and see if you will float, nonsense. It is kilometers away from the truth that God loved you and he is your only protector, not even G4S can do that with the help of the Kanime boys. And I will explain why.
They say God created ‘Adam and Eve’ and not ‘Adam and Steve’. That one I understand and even my Sunday school did justice. Mara if the Lord wishes to punish those who go against his wish creation and doing, why is it that today gay people are more successful that broke ass real and straight men? Even the lesbians are more successful than our Madonas who give it very kind. The number of broke gay and lesbian mavutus is minimal compared to our real men living in Havana – then you wanna say God loves you – shaishe.
Also look at this. How did the Lord look over you when today you have gone almost nowhere? You attended the same career fairs, bunked class together and had sex behind the school hall (Don’t judge me). Today, your classmates are lawyers, doctors and business owners. You? You are a trainee waitress at Safari Hotel. Mara why, if you guys have the same God?
And yes, your wild friends are getting married yet your ass that’s always at home is still single and nobody, not even the ugliest guy in the street makes the joke. You go to church every Sunday and you are told good things come to those who wait while the good men outside church are being taken by the women who hustle. You will be 30 and expired by then, still no hubby. But God loves you so just wait.
On the other hand, some on the streets are on a serious search for their soulmates but get zero results. They go from kissing all the cockroaches, hugging all the fuckboys and sleeping with a gallery of dicks but still get no man yet you pray for the Lord for help. Do not even bother to go to church because the pastor will help himself on you. He is a man of God after all, the very same one who tells you that his master loves you.
Also, ever wondered why the whore in the street never gets pregnant? Yet you who only started sex a week ago, you have barely mastered the aerobics, gets pregnant with the first fuckboy. And if who think he loved you, why does the same idiot who got you pregnant not bother to get you to the alter. You don’t even qualify for a magistrate wedding nor a witness at the same setting. He doesn’t even attend the child’s baptism. How does God love you if all you are good for is being the braids maid and never the bride? He loves you hei.
Yes, those who deserve to be sick and die live longer than the innocent. How many corrupt leaders to we have that we wish dead yet the uncle who bring bread home every day kicks the bucket first. Bitches, fuckboys and all the useless people don’t die and yet you say He loves you. The sick lives longer to infect you all. But what do you expect when we are all created in his image. A side of me thinks the useless were created for a reason. Do you remember when I said that God created people whose lives are destined to be dololo? I bet he placed them in society so we look at them as examples of who we could become if we don’t organise our shit. But again, it’s unfair that they live longer than the innocent.
Is it also not fair that women and men cannot compete at all things? How about we both try to be players? Cheat like I cheat. Sleep around like I do and we see who wins. It’s obvious I will be celebrated and be put on the ranks of the champions. I don’t think I will say the same of you. So tell me you are loved when the podium doesn’t recognize your hard work. Your receiving end is not so rewarding after all.
Lastly, think about this. You study all year only to graduate and hang that paper on top of your unlicensed TV. The rest who go a mile further to suck dick and give up their dignity behind have jobs and buying power. So tell me about you dignity when your broke ass is sitting home humbled by economics while those who have made peace with the mic are in for the good. But God loves you neh.
Let me sign out by allowing you to ponder on what I said. For the first time I hope you do not agree with me. I welcome you to make me believe otherwise. Children of God, and the few who believe otherwise, see you all in church this Sunday. I still attend because I need that membership card. Plus the pastor is my uncle.
I think I still love you.
MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.