I have nothing bitter against gay people besides the fact that they have ungodly placed themselves on the receiving end and for some reason just seem to know everything about rights, from behind.
But it becomes a matter of concern when the definition of being a ‘gentleman’ is architected by those who are not sure of their sexuality and a few men who have been reduced to a dish-washing and ‘yes babe’ parrots.
If being a gentleman is defined by those who have vested interests in becoming the sex to benefit, then I refuse to sign up for the club. Miss me on that and I really do not care if that’s the last chance I had of getting a woman.
Hear me out, how do you want to empower women at the expense of reducing men to a mere remote in the hands of the very same people who wants to define How, When and Why things should be done?
If being a gentleman mean means to do things for my girlfriend that she can do herself, then miss me. There is now this mofie trend that I should kama open the door for her. What happened to her two hands? The very same hands that zip down trousers and five-tackle-one; – or are they only useful on special events?
Madam, you are not disabled so open your own door and you might as well pull out your chair. You have your own hands and make use of them even when there is a man around. There is a reason you also have hands. That is the shorted journey you will ever take to being useless.
And yes, I’m your boyfriend and NOT your father. This nonsense from a memo we have never signed should also come to an end. Let me break it down for you. I have a mother and father, so do you. My parents supported me because it is their duty to support their children in all areas deemed necessary.
So from what side of the brain does it become right for you to say I should support you financially and buy you things to keep you happy? Where are your parents to do that? Or did the word ‘boyfriend’ and ‘father’ become synonyms? Not me, and again – please miss me on that one. It is your duty to finance your premature dreams.
Let your father buy you those Brazilian hair and whatever you have bothered your man with every day before payday. And if we have a child together, the trend will continue as such. My duty (and yours as well) is to support our child (not you), only. And in this economic state where money depletes as fast as MTC data before the next payday, sort out your own shit. What is mine, is mine alone neh.
And just before you bring in the sex favour you give me, it is a mutual gain neh. The fact that you have a few who pay for it says a lot about your business skills. I hear women who sell it are the new panti-preneurs. Otherwise, it’s a win-win situation.
Anyways, why would I want to be a gentleman when many good and gentlemanly guys are single? Many women on the streets like rough guys. I was once a gentleman and got my ass dumped for that s#!t. It’s a career that will reap you no benefits. It’s like being a dentist in Rehoboth where no one there has teeth. Yes, Miss Namibia is also from Rehoboth and you can ask to pronounce the vowel sound ‘i’ to see for yourself.
And I actually only realized that the few who are behind the #MenAreTrash movement are those who seek recognition of their lives gone wrong. Not even the devil accepts this juju.
Treat people like the beast you want to be and not because there is a ‘supposed’ order set for you. If you text me today, I will reply tomorrow. I will have sex with women even if I have no intentions to marry them. Who said everyone will get married sobisoo? And I do not even know where you get your misplaced confidence of saying ‘no sex before marriage.’ Last I checked your parents were not married and your brother has a different mother. But you were clothed by the one father and shared mothers. Laliful.
If we are going to raise women and allow them to be independent, then we have to stop this crap of being softies to them. Work for your own shit and wait for no man to open doors for you. It is under the pretext of looking for gentlemen that we are losing our ladies.
The idiot will open the wrong doors for you. They will pull out the chairs just when you are about to sit. And they will marinate you nxa, place you in the best warmth only for the chopping later.
So while many of you wish to be gentlemen and even go to the extent of having guides to becoming gentlemen, I have zero interest in that gay shit. That’s not my thing so miss me on that.
I think I still love you.
MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.