Monday 12 April 2021
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Is Marriage for Childbearing or Companionship?

Is marriage for childbearing or companionship or both? I have been thinking about this for some time now and I just don’t get it. I bet we all like the sound of wedding bells, especially when plans start getting underway.

But I mostly like seeing a couple on their wedding day when it seems like there is nothing on earth that can tear them apart. Don’t even get me started on the exchange of vows.

However, sadly a year or two into the marriage tension starts to build up because there are no little ones brought up to turn the house upside down. But do you know who gets to the receiving end of all this? The wife, because in Namibia it is always the woman’s fault when there are no children.

In some marriages, husbands become irritable and start to call their wives names that must not be heard from any man that stood before God and vowed to love his wife through thick and thin.

But do you know who steers this whole situation in that direction? It is our family members who get involved and compound the problem, making a woman’s home hell.

Life often becomes unbearable for many wives whose wombs have not been opened and many husbands in such situations believe they have the reason to cheat because perhaps they can have a child out of wedlock.

Whatever happened to the promise to love and cherish one another come hail or storm? What happened to all that love that they both once shared? What happened to all the “I’ll always be there for you” promises? How does a couple joined together by God, allow themselves to move from loving each other to simply tolerating each other all because they don’t have children?

Is marriage just a means to an end, to have children to carry your name? Or is it about finding someone you love and spending each day with that person, walking together in Christ, praying together and carrying each other’s burdens?

According to the Bible, the primary purpose of marriage is companionship. Hence Genesis 2:24 affirms “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” I believe that marriage is for companionship and that’s my stand. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of the verse “Be fruitful and multiply” but what happens if I’m not fruitful within the first few years of marriage? Does this mean I’m a failure? Does this mean I’m the wrong woman for my man?

Our people need to stop pressuring newlywed brides who’re unable to conceive right after the wedding. It makes me feel like they believe there is an expiry date on the magic that a couple share and thus need babies to keep the marriage afloat.

Am I the only one who thinks that is sad? Did this man get on one knee simply because he loves the woman for who she is or because he sees her as a suitable incubator for childbearing?

I put my question out again, perhaps one can clarify this part of marriage that I am yet to comprehend; is marriage for companionship or childbearing? If I can’t have children, have I failed as a woman?

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