Let’s put the trolling aside for once, for mothers. I actually have a loving side too, but just for my mother, your mother and a few who deserve to be called mothers. Mothers are not only those who have dished out insults at the maternity wards when giving birth, nor are they only those who raised a bunch of children dropped every year on their door step, no. A mother is every human being with a loving heart devoid of any filters and discrimination to care for every breathing being in their circle and they do it with the heart.
Born of a mother, I have learned to appreciate the k*k mothers go just for idiots like me to be foolish and so undisciplined. I have learned that mothers are freaking jealous human beings. You know that look she gives you when she finds you with some shebeen-looking girl. She tell it to you in your face that you should stay away from the girls because she knows that kamboroto has zero mercy for your wallet because all she has to give is vagina.
And just by the way, you idiots who go around insulting women with their private parts, please think of your mother and the organ that introduced you to sunlight laliful. Regardless of her humanitarian habits of making her private parts public, she remains a woman and at least that part of her body should be respected. We all know how it hurts when someone mentions our mother, so please respect that cookie, your mother has one too (the only difference is nobody speaks of it).
I know I sometimes come of very critical of women, especially those who do not know their value and have missed the behaviour memo. So allow me to also say that before we respect women, I think they also have a role to play. The devil side of me says some women actually apply for the insults that come their side. I know some very well-behaved women and many who are such a disgrace to the circle. But if only some mothers knew who their girls were gonna turn out, some of you would have been aborted, or let alone, your father would have been given two condoms army for safety. But they dint do this. That’s why I love your mother, only.
A personal testimony. The greatest gift my mother gave me was she believed in me. Like some NAMA artist said, she was my GPS to everything good. She remains to be the push in my life. She whipped discipline to the fact that I just had no choice but to accept. The bullshit of drinking, smoking, tattoos and stealing where never in my reach of choices. In fact, unlike today’s YouTube-raised kids, I had zero rights besides saying I’m hungry and wanting to play. Yes, my mother taught me to be selfish, in a positive way. She taught me to appreciate myself such that I never depend on fake kamborotos to call me cute while they are actually making reference to my wallet. With zero permanent employment and no school education, she remains the greatest teacher to date. She taught me what no teacher in my 16 years of schooling could teach.
And no matter how many times I fell or disappointed her, she told me to stand up and never fall the same way. Yes, she is the greatest and I couldn’t ask for more. I know some of you be there wondering what happened to me, the truth is, regardless of the shit I talk about, mothers remain angels that I will respect dearly. I know some of you have bitter relationships with yours because of differences that you now have established, but mine remains dear to me and as such I will continue praising her. Yes, I’m still MfK.
I would also like to salute single mothers out there who against all odds continue soldiering on to raise good children. These mothers continue to amaze me because some of us depend so much on people but they did it alone. My respect is with you.
So it puzzle me when we now grow up and start looking down on the very same persons who bathed us and made sure we grew to have a mind that filters right and wrong. Some of you go months without speaking to your mothers but have so much time talking to other mothers’ kids including your kamboroto. Some of you spend so much on chicks for the night but barely send your unemployed mothers a mere N$500, the same you spend in one night.
What’s even more embarrassing is how we look at them as nuisance whenever they call but are quick to pick up a call from the idiot coming to pick you up for the night. And some of you never call back after saying you are busy. Sies tog…
So Sunday is Mother’s Day, please go out of your way and make that women who brought you into this world special. You will not have any other but that one only. And moving forward, think of her every time you open your wallet to spend on other people’s children. If you don’t have the money, just your time with her counts too.
MFK is a satirical column, written by a nameless individual. His views are not endorsed by the editorial policy of the publishers.