It is another Mother’s day celebration, a day set aside to acknowledge and appreciate the women responsible for bringing us into this world, the women who have gone through thick and thin to ensure that their children had a good upbringing. Though it has become a norm to show some love with the token of gifts and kind words towards mothers it is still not sufficient enough to match the labour of love that mothers have over their children.
The pivotal roles that mothers play in the lives of their children cannot be quantified in monetary terms; they are to be modest and priceless. As such, the roles mothers play in making their children into what they eventually become is very crucial and cannot be easily dismissed as of no significance.
Eveline Ncube (not her real name), a mother of three boys says that being a single mother is not something that one wishes for but it happens. “It is never easy and it is different from one person to the next depending on the relationship one has with the father of the children,” she explains.
Eveline says that a single mother needs to be strong, focus and take good care of herself for the wellbeing of her children. “It is not easy but it is possible to create the right environment for your children with time but might take time and lots of strength to eventually get there.
As a single mom, Eveline says that when doing things alone with more than one child one needs a proper structure and it is at times challenging to be the bread winner, the super mom in all other areas as well. “The positive part is that you are able to focus on yourself and your children rather than focusing on a toxic relationship that’ll at the end of the day affect you.”
Being raised by a single mother, 25 years old Natangwe Nengola says it has never been easy but holds great respect for her. Natangwe has been in the day of her mother, living together and testifies that he is who he is today because of his mother Ndapwa Kafidi. This is his testimony
“Besides the pain mothers go through when bringing us into this world, mothers are just special. For a fact, 99 percent of mothers play a big role in their children’s lives. They are handful to the entire house in all ways.
“In my case, my mother has done everything for me. Now and then I get financial support from my dad but money cannot cook for you, money cannot iron your clothes, and money cannot emotionally support you.
“Growing up, I have been naughty. I have disappointed her so many times but I still get to find a meal on the table the next day. One can imagine playing the father role in the life of a boy child. I’m sure it’s not that easy. I come to her with problems that only fathers should understand but she still listens to me and points me into the right direction.
“Our relationship has been very good. It has its ups and downs but she still has got my back. One other advantage of being raised by a single parent is that you have a greater chance of being closer to them. We are friends and she is my biggest fan.
“My mother has been my doctor, teacher, pastor, counselor, director, mentor and inspiration. She has achieved so much in in her life independently and that alone motivates me to follow her footsteps.
“She has taught me how to love and respect women, and it is because of her that I am not violent at all. She has taught me how to forgive. No matter how many times I upset her, she still gets to love me even after yelling loud the previous day. She has taught me the importance of family and asks that I always visit.
“My wish for her is to see her live long. I feel indebted forever for what she has done for me to date so I would want to see her live long so that I give her all she has given me.
“To other single mothers out there, I have given mine hell and I understand it is not easy. So continue playing positive roles in the lives of your children. It always pays off in the end.”
A 21 year old Cecilia Iyambo says that her mother played the role of both mom and dad in her entire life which has groomed her into the woman that she is today. “My mother has put me through school and that is something that I am grateful for. Although she didn’t earn a fortune she still wanted the best for me,” she said.
“My mother instilled the value of church in me and I should say that I’ve grown spiritually. She also taught me how to be a good woman and never be hateful towards my dad. My mother believes in me, she allows me to be myself and she always says that I should be who I want to be, she’s literally my number one fan”
Like most mother-daughter relationships Cecilia confides in her mother. She says that she talks to her about anything and everything regarding her education, health and relationships. “I always make sure that I let her know what is going on in my life.”
Cecilia also mentioned that in a world of blessers, her mom is her blesser and she never depends on anyone other than her. “That is why I need to respect her,” she says.
Being an only child Cecilia says that she gets very demanding towards her mother. “At some point I feel like she is not doing enough for me and I’d feel very ungrateful. At times I would also feel very unnecessarily emotional and put my stress on her and still expect her to be okay with what I put her through.”
Be as it may, it is hard for all mothers, even those who desperately wanted children, but especially hard for single mothers. It is hard for a single mother to pull all costs for child care.
The mother then is an essential part of the upbringing of her child and an indirect shaper of societal values by the direct influence she has on her child. Thus, considering the role mothers play, they are to be cared for in return, loved and appreciated. Happy Mother’s Day.