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Saturday 20 April 2019
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No Apology for Wanting Chivalry

“When a man opens a car door for his girlfriend, it’s either a new car or a new girlfriend.” This meme says a lot about how men of our days lack chivalry. Nowadays women are being shamed for expecting men to behave courteously towards them. There is only a handful of men who truly treat women with courtesy.

Chivalry seems well and truly dead these days and it is a shame that our Namibian men still find it big of a deal to just be respectful, honest and polite towards women. What’s the harm gentleman? Every woman is strong, capable and is deserving of chivalry. It has nothing to do with the fact that she likes it when a man holds the door for her or offers to pay for her meal. Yes, she’s perfectly capable of doing those on her own, but when someone is kind enough to make that gesture towards her, it’s a welcome pleasure. It’s called kindness!

Instead of calling a woman all sorts of names or whistle when she walks down the street being considerate and approaching her in a decent way goes a long way.

Don’t get me wrong, yearning for chivalry doesn’t mean that a woman is some damsel in distress that doesn’t believe in her own capabilities. It doesn’t mean she’s not strong. It means that the other human in her company is offering her decency, which is so painfully rare these days.

I am not suggesting that chivalry should be one sided. Of course women can’t always have to be on the receiving end. Just because a woman appreciates the thoughtful kindness it doesn’t mean she’s not capable of doing it herself or that she doesn’t think of returning the kindness. For those who have taken advantage of chivalrous acts let me offer my apologies on their behalf for not offering you the same basic human decency in return.

Just because a woman expects you to pull out her chair at the table should not mean that she doesn’t believe in female equality. A woman will always have an intention of offering gestures of her own when the moments allow. She may offer to take care of the next bill, or simply just hold the door open for you if she’s walking in front of you. It goes both ways. A woman is only as good as you treat her.

If I have to hold my own door, I won’t kick up a fuss. If you ask me to pay the dinner bill, I won’t even hesitate. It’s not about being feminist. It is about having the right character, right mannerisms and the decent way you treat the people of the opposite gender. Otherwise, the argument about feminism and chivalry isn’t an excuse to be rude. At the end of the day, chivalry is just kindness and genuine thoughtfulness. It’s no different than when you hold the door for your friends or pay for the round of beers on a Sunday session with homies.

Politeness, kindness and respect outwit everything else. Strong capable women deserve people who are also strong and capable of dropping their ego and being decent human beings.

I’m a strong, capable woman but I won’t apologize for wanting chivalry so please do me the honour.




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