What is the best decision that you have made to date? It could be the course that you are studying or studied at university or perhaps the choice to attend a certain university. In life we make so many decisions pertaining to how we want our lives to play out.
Personally, I have made decisions which have served me better and shaped who I have become. Yeah…not all of them were a crest of the wave, some I regret but some are worth a thousand applauses. You might not be expecting this, but I have decided to take a break to love myself.
Everything is fast-paced these days. People build relationships as quickly as it takes a KFC server to put a Crunch Hamburger together and they tear relationships apart in just as much time as it takes to consume that fist size burger. What fascinates me more than ever before is that we are increasingly reliant on external influences for love.
We are constantly seeking ways to please the public without knowing we are actually doing so or maybe we know but just the fact that we want to be liked, means we have to please them.
Many of us want love from others when our love reservoir within is running empty. We want to go from one relationship to the next without taking time to heal. We want to build friendships on the spur of the moment without taking time to assess the bandwagons we are jumping on.
And in a matter of months, it’s about “you said, she said.” We want validation from our income, employment status, marital status, home location, family background and relationships. We try so hard to be who we are not.
Why do we let our lives be dictated by social constructs and the beliefs of others? Why are we are so caught up in trying to please others and forget we have to do the needful which is to take a break from everything else to love ourselves? We also deserve kindness.
Surely, you can’t take a break from everything at once, but you need to take a break from where you tend to go looking for love the most. If you validate yourself through romantic relationships in spite of how toxic they are to you, it is time to take a break.
If you validate yourself based on the opinions of friends, relatives and complete strangers, it is time to take a break for some introspection.
If you have been validating yourself based on your academic performance, it is time to take a break from the strenuous exercise of external validation and focus on yourself.
The question is always what would you do if you were not afraid, not worried about what others think or what they would say? How would you live your life if you came to fully accept your reality?
How would you relate with others if you were mask-free, external expectation free and really just yourself and nothing less?
Take a break to discover who you would be if you were not listening to so many voices, reading so many expectations and believing in so many rules.
When you truly love yourself, you are free and that is the best decision you’ll ever make.