As human beings, we have the innate ability of holding on to people and tolerate obstructive behaviour. We hold on to family, loved ones and friends that are utterly toxic. These people add no value to our lives and basically destroy us from within.
They drain us emotionally and have the audacity to demand a place in our lives. We go through life thinking that no one will ever understand us as much as our ‘best friends’ and that we have an inseparable bond with cousin ‘Maggie’.
Yet so often we are hurt by the ones that are dearest to us. And although blood is thicker than water, I, on the other hand, can recall the numerous times I felt like an island in the midst of my family.
We need to take time every now and then to reflect on the people in our lives and their significance. We need to question whether we are better off without them in our lives. Now, this reflection, however, does not need to be piled up with your dusty list of New Year’s resolutions, which in many cases do not materialise.
Just take the time to observe the finer details of your relations. Like who takes time to listen to you when life overwhelms you and actually gives credible advice or simply lends their shoulder for you to lean on?
Now, I am in no way saying that you should become the helpless friend that always seems to be in need. But when you are at your lowest point in life and facing an uphill battle, it becomes as clear as day light who you can count on. Like the sign on the buses that travel to Oshikango reads, ‘when days are dark, friends are few’.
I could not agree more but I can also attest to that. On a continual basis, we need to let go of people that do not allow us to grow. And although we have read books about letting go and motivational speakers reiterate this like a song we seem to cling on stronger. We need to let go of friends that never have anything good to say about us or at least just compliment us when we make the effort to look good.
Let go of that ‘bra’ in the location that labels you a coward because you choose to remain loyal to your girlfriend. One needs to come to the realisation that negative behaviours and attitudes are contagious. And subconsciously, we become more and more like the people we associate ourselves with.
We are a privileged generation and unlike the youth of ‘Tanganyika’, we are at liberty to live in any part of the world, pursue any career and in essence do as we please. We can live our lives to the fullest and nobody has time to entertain bad vibes and gloomy vibes. If ever someone new, different and greater had to step into our lives, we need to let go of the seasonal relations. These people may have been of value at some point in your life but they have now fulfilled their purpose.
So as you are doing your spring cleaning this weekend, clear out all the irrelevant entities in your life and renew your outlook on life.