Gone are the days when fathers were the anchors of families. The days in which, they were the role models and the head of households not just by title but by duty. Just like Cyclone Dineo, Namibian men are becoming more and more destructive. And the torch is handed on from one generation to another. This generational ‘curses’ and cycle has to be put to an end and destroyed. Unlike in the past, men did not run away from their children or abandon their families, today they opt to be physically present and emotionally absent.
It is so heartbreaking to walk into a home with a father that watches TV all day. The gate outside is practically falling off and the wind just has to blow strongly and they will be left gateless. What was once considered a shrub is now sky high as the evergreen plant has infested the yard. All the taps in the house are leaking and the door handles are non-existent. It is like living in a natural disaster but the only difference is that you wake up to it each day.
The ‘father’ suffers from no physical disability, he is simply just too much of a hypocrite to make his house a home. He demands to be respected and treated like royalty. His wife has to serve him with food and carry his drinks. Yet his family is falling apart.
His boys have no male role model to emulate, they have no one to talk to or mould them into respectable individuals within society. His daughter goes through life thinking that disrespect and worthlessness is her portion and because they say “you marry a man like your father” she falls into the same trap as her mother.
His wife has to carry the burden of being treated like a maid and being disrespected right in front of her children. She cries herself to sleep each night but remains in this marriage for the sake of her children. Just when you think this is enough, this ‘father’ moves in and out of this woman’s life as he pleases and impregnates any womb that carries an ovary.
Why do fathers choose to be men without character? Why do men shy away from their fatherly obligations? I will reiterate this – it’s a generational cycle that might run far back as three generations, a void left by three generations of fathers. How do you teach a man to love his son if he was never taught love by his father? How does he begin to show love and affection to his wife, if his father treated his mother like an object?
It is easier to judge from the outside but at some point a decision has to be made. Life is made up of a series of choices and in spite of what you may have been through, your journey is unique. You are not your father and just because you did not have a positive role model it gives you no right to perpetuate negative attributes. You did not grow up in a cocoon and at some point in your life you must have met a man that changed the way you regarded the role of a father. Be it a TV character, your colleague at work or even the guy that lives next door.
Remember that you are never too good to become bad nor are you too bad to become good. Rise Namibian men and became revolutionary fathers of great character!