If you have been following me for some time now, you would have picked up that I just love talking sh*t. In fact, it is like a motive in life. I mean, there is just so much to talk about especially with you guys doing things which are devoid of any sense. And what makes it even juicier is the fact that I do not need your opinion on what is right or not. I love being me and I know many of you can’t do anything but wish. And with that, I think we need to undress a few issues.
Kids (not by age), need to be told that there is a whole lot of bullsh*t on the way, not the tribal thing going on but real sh*t. That is the biggest thing we need to do for kids – especially when you have zero education, broke, ugly and caught up is so many fights and you can’t even choose one.
When I was a kid, I was stupid, until I reached the age of reason. I say the age of reason without any specifics because many of you are so far from that age.
Just like dogs chase car for reasons only known to the intelligently-amputated mind, sometimes I am left to wonder what some people want in life too. On one side you have those who just complain for the sake of saying something regardless of its relevance, but then you also have those who have zero front nor back identity – people you don’t know if they are coming or going.
And no, I’m not talking about those like myself who cheat. In fact, it’s not cheating, the person is just versatile. Just like in soccer, there are those who are good with both the left and right foot and these are people we celebrate. It is against the Bible to not share so let us not make the neighbours doors a no-go-area. When the electricity goes off, the neighbor is allowed to bring you a generator. We should learn love this people. That one ends there.
Also talk about the selfish women and some male moffie friends who act like they become edgy on the 28th. But for those who are legally given the features by the House of Biology, I would like to hit some sense in your head. Until some of you learn that cars do not drive on kindness, love or some street relationship, I refuse to call you matured. In fact, you do not deserve to be getting your periods because you still think and reason like you are wet behind you right ear. So this shit of ‘come get me,’ ‘take me to town,’ ‘come take me to the salon’ and all these anti-growth favours just don’t make sense. Next time you climb in his car, please to look how much fuel he has left. Laliful. That one ends there.
Next on my list is that madam who thinks they want to save everything in this world. This is the madam who has a say in everything and have by default become extreme feminists. And just like the others, they are clueless about what you want. It’s ok to think you are beautiful. Of course that’s what your mother told you to avoid being questioned about her sexual preferences. But don’t fight for everything.
People who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to f$ck in the first place. These conservatives care so much about the unborn, and when you are born, they turn you either into becoming gay or lesbian in the name of rights and reaching the inner-self, kama. We all know it is the anus that suffers and beautiful young ladies get to know nothing but the finger. And these are the same people who are so updated with Pharmacy prices. They even know that the price of the morning-after-pill has inflated with N$20. Mxxxxm. That one ends there.
Etsee, yesterday I saw a beautiful madam. I swear she is just the ish. She was. Until she waved her five tiny fingers at me. Eish, that armpit was blessed with a weather never seen. Hairy to core. Which I really don’t understand why women love hair so much that they want to grow a garden. Cutting it is not a crime nor does it close to deforestation. I was traumatized to see so much hair in one place. That thing is hairier than a Windhoek salon’s floor on payday. That one too ends there.
I know you all think I hate woman. No, I love them. In fact, I have many that I love and respect. But I have an issue with my brothers who just refuse to grow up. I know you know of many but allow me to poke you on something that disturbs me. We have those who run their mouth about what they have and want to have just for the sake of getting the attention. Idiot. You have such big dreams and visions but with your kapunda I doubt you can see far. I don’t even know when last you saw your penis. So before aiming so high, make sure you have sight of your current situation. Let’s also park that one there.
Lastly, I’ve been going to church for the past weeks and I have realized that power in the building. I’m starting my own, so all of you will be welcome to come and congregate on real life and not mere promises you will die without seeing. I’m currently busy compiling my 10 Commandments but will need your help with the name of our church. So send me your suggestion. Let’s do this.
I love to hate you