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Saturday 19 January 2019
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Valentine’s Day – the dependency syndrome

As I sit down and take time to reminisce on my love life, I am reminded that the month of love has arrived and this year is no different from any other year. I am stuck with the same dilemma. ‘Ka January’ is over but my financial position remains unchanged. The only thing that has changed is that for once I will not be single on Valentine’s Day.

However it doesn’t make things any less soothing it only sends me into a panic attack not because I have no idea how display my love towards my significant other but because I am dead broke! Just this weekend I boasted about how ‘Independent’ I am because I can afford to eat out at News Cafe and buy booze for all my friends. Well, Newsflash ! I depend on my parents to make all this happen. Thus, when you remove the ‘IN’ from independent you are left with me : a dependent.

Now this is the foundation of the problem, as we cannot all be entrepreneurs or be innovative. I am definitely not in that category, as I cannot even sell a tomato. However, we all have the ability to use our talents to our advantage and if that does not work finding a part-time job will do. As Valentine’s Day draws closer, I am filled with anxiety. How do I explain to my Minister of finance A.K.A my mother that I need to buy a gift for my significant other?

At this point I am fed up with being financially dependent on my mother and ‘the dependency syndrome must fall!’. I think to myself “where have I gone wrong ?  I can sing and I have an authentic voice”. Perhaps I should have looked for a job as radio or TV presenter or sign up for ‘song night’. I could have prevented this, if only I thought way past my nose and recognized my positive attributes. All in all this taught me to use utilize what I have at my disposal and confidently say, “I rightfully worked for the money I have and I can enjoy it”.

As I converse with my friends,  they tell me all about their plans for Valentine’s Day. They describe in detail how they intend on making the day romantic and special. I take a microscopic look and it becomes much easier to comprehend why my friends can afford to go all-out on this day while I wait for an allowance that is due at the end of the month. I realized that they actually generated other means of revenue. While I sat at home on Saturday afternoon watching several episodes of ‘Big brother Nigeria’, my friends organised braai stands and sold meat at the street corners. Others worked on weekends at the local supermarket. As a result, emancipate themselves from the ‘dependency syndrome’.

So yes you guessed right, I am taking Valentine’s Day head on next year. I refuse to be part of the black population that does not celebrate the day. I definitely want to fight against the stereotype that denotes ‘men should spoil women on Valentine’s Day’ as it is a celebration of love. Above all, I will sign up for song night and dedicate my Saturday afternoons to selling ice. Love lives here and the dependency syndrome just fell on its back.




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