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Monday 16 September 2019
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Please be useful this year

If this time of the year was a moment during sex, it would be that sweet but thought-provoking moment when a guy is about to cumm but realizes he is doing it 40. So he does not know if he should shoot it all inside or pull out to avoid long stories. Yes, I love sex and all its theories that we may attach to life directly and
indirectly.
 
But unlike sex and all its complications, it is this time of the year that I want you to just take some time to think of your drowning and useless life. January is gone so you cannot be broke to pay attention to your own life.
 
You f@#ked up big last year and have zero achievements to show. I challenge you to do so if you have the balls. I was checking out a few profiles including yours and all I could find was some abortion of pre-matured dreams.
 
All you have are photos of weekends out with alcohol bottles of names you cannot even spell. I am made to understand that sometimes the lives people live on social media is not the true them. All you demonstrate is you incapability of handling money. All you show is how you get screwed all over and over again. All you show is your filtered looks that do not even come close to the real you.
 
I won’t count January because it was an extension of 2016. But I would like to undress a few things that I look forward to see in 2017 from you all.
 
Some of you are philosophers dishing out advice on social media on how to best live life but yours is just another prostitution rehab centre – busy but no results. Some of you forgot to post what you have achieved in 2016 besides that fact that God pushed you into 2017. We are still waiting for that grade 12 report. Yes, we also want to see if you did indeed improve at Namcol. Some of you cannot even remember the number of beds you have slept in.
 
You really wanna convince me that on all 7 days of the week all you have to show is your face, chilling, fake motivational quotes and stupid posts of another relationship gone. Your relationship status changes every third month but your educational status has been the same seven years after
leaving high school. Really? Is that all you leaving? How useless can you be?
 
How about you post that degree instead of the new crop-top and make-up kit. How about you post a trolley full of food for the house instead of a table full of alcohol. How about you post the new bed you recently bought instead of lavish guesthouse you go to with your parasite. How about you post photos of you having a great time with family especially your mom and dad instead of picture with your side-chicks and other people’s daughters. Instead of posting pictures of your new Brazilian hair, why not show us pictures of clothes you bought for you daughter in the village? Instead of posting pictures in front of people’s cars, why not buy your own this year? Don’t you get tired of always being on the left? Yes, we want to see you working hard and not just the money. We want to know where it’s coming from because I hear some of you have become panty-preneurs and have wrecked your sacred circumference for money.
 
And with regards to your looks, we are tired of old selfies. So for control, we would like to see you post sellfies holding a newspaper of the day.
 
Guys, I don’t want to insult people today because all I want is a different you this year. This thing of wasting oxygen and our space is really not fair. My sisters, I know you guys are very weak when it comes to working for your own behind. And as a result you seek that in us. So before you tell the world that you want a guy who has a car, his own place, has money and all the looks only seen in Telemundos, we kindly beg you buy yourself a mirror.
 
With the mirror, I want you to look at yourself objectively. If you yourself are not anything close to what you want in a man, then kindly sit down and date your league. Some of you cannot even date yourself if you were a replica of what you want, yet you want better. Laliful.
 
So in 2017, get yourself the money, car, own place and the beauty before seeking it in other people. We want to see you post that degree on graduation day. All you have been promoting this year is a life that is devoid of any future and short-cuts to becoming a whore. No more, it’s really time you became useful.
 
I know not all of you are destined to be ‘people’ in life but that does not give you the right pass to being just as that. No more selling exchanging cookie for Guarana. No more going after what does not belong to you. People grow at night when they are asleep – you can imagine what happens with people who sunrise every weekend. No more that too.
 
This will be the only advice I give out for free this year. I understand we have new dux learners in the city already. I advise you to stay away from the boys with cars. And just so you know, taxis cost N$10 and nothing more. J66 is out there and it will not be kind to go home in June with a belly distinction.
 
I hate to love you
 
Sharpies…



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