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Wednesday 20 March 2019
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Why you belong to the scrapyard

If there is one thing I am good at but not obliged to do, it is judging people and forecasting their future with their current lifestyle. At some point you are all going to complain like you do best about not finding the right guy, job and how you are just not reaching the right orgasm. These are things you need not run to church for or ask pastors to penetrate prayers in your life.
 
It all started with you bitchery lifestyle that gradually made you fit for nothing else but the scrapyard. If you do not know what a scrapyard is, just buy a mirror and look at that person whose left hand is supposed to be the right but it is not.
 
A scrapyard is that place where cars that are written-off are dumped for stripping. This means that the car as a whole is not of any value but a few parts can still be used. One will come in and say they only want the lights because that is all they need. Another will come in just for the windscreen or wheels because it is what they need at the time. As time goes on and interested clients strip the car, you will see how the shell is left and no one even wastes time to look at it because there is nothing valuable.
 
The scenario above is just the acceptable analogy that I could use at the moment for the sake of not being too brutal, but we all know that some of the sisters have long gone to the scrapyards. In fact, they have long been written off.
 
Your current problems and bad luck with catching the right bus started before you even knew it and I will tell you how we men wrote you off. It’s no secret we have a lot of pride but do also not ignore the fact that we do not like that which belonged to a friend. When I see you date a friend, you become a no-go option. This means, 20 friends of your boyfriends will never date you for a real relationship because you have dated one of them. Remember the car before it’s written off, that’s you and he is the first-hand owner. You might be beautiful, have an ass and a body blessed with all the panel-beating, sorry, you are no longer worth a relationship among that circle. The moment you break up with my friend; that is when we sent you to the scrapyard.
 
In the scrap yard, that is where we will visit you if we have time, just to verify some facts. You know guys talk, especially on those days when it’s just them hanging out. So at times we just want to know if you are as wild as he said or if things are really tight as explained. We just want to know if you go down really well and hear the sounds of thunder. Sometimes you just come off to have good di#k-sucking lips and that is what will attract us. Yes, we will come but it will be in secret. And just so you know, no one will hear of my visit because who wants to boast about getting favours (car parts) from the scrapyard. The routine goes on and those who hear that the other visited the scrapyard will also come and by the time you realize, no one cares because all you ever had has long been enjoyed by the public.
 
And then you see posts on Facebook saying “All guys are dogs” – yes we are indeed. At least you always get that right.
 
So have you ever wondered why guys come into your life and just leave after a few sessions? You have long been written off girl. It is just the parts we wanted.
 
If the above is hard to comprehend then let me break and bring you another scenario. My first impressions of you say a lot. What I get to learn about you later even surpasses the first impressions. If I meet you as a side-chick to a friend, this means that is who you are and only fit to be that. If you are a mother to one and the baby-daddy ran away, how do you really expect the next guy to stay if all you are is a baby-mama material? Just like the car at the scrapyard, that is what you are good for. If I meet you as a party pooper and only available on weekends, so it shall be. Why do you even want a difference when you cannot take the lead? It’s not easy oshili.
 
But you know, people ask me ‘how then do we make sure we do not end up in the scrapyard?’ The truth is, you have probably already been written off by many, it’s just that you don’t know. The only way out of your f#@ked-up reality is to move to another town. Ask motorists, it is easier to sell a second-hand car in a foreign town. There no one has seen the first owner spinning the car and speeding through potholes. At least there people don’t know you and maybe a few can take you serious. Go start a new page provided that you have learned. I know a bunch of previously written-off girls who are now married. If only the husbands knew that she used to be a village bicycle.
 
The recent aweh-some video is a classic example of some woman visiting her old habits. So while we are here, I advise you to do a self-check and figure out why people just want to use you. Hala at me if you disagree.
 
I love to hate you.
 
Sharpies…



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