Monday 12 April 2021
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keJanuWorry is here, like for real

While it seems like Janu-Worry is a myth for some, it is a harsh reality for many. Especially for those who are finding themselves strapped for cash after all the spending during the festive season. Somehow January’s bills are to be settled with December’s already stretched out salary, and with new additions such as back-to-school bills, this can cause a financial strain resulting in a huge panic.

The dust has settled and everybody has returned from their different holiday destinations – back to reality. For those who were smart and conservative enough to put some money away for this month, everything will go just well.

However, January will be the longest month for others. It is around this time people adopt new habits befitting of their wallets. Some go sober while many are just nowhere to be seen. There is only one JanuWorry and it is only here when:

Everyone is smart
If you have never seen humble and smart people, this is the time. It is only in January where everyone knows who and what they want to do for the rest of the year. Similarly, it is only in January when people actually have time to write down their plans for the year, the cost and sometimes a biblical quote next to it all. In fact, it is the month where people sit down, look at the disasters of the previous year and come up with amicable solutions to make the year ahead better. When humbled by life, everyone becomes smart, especially in January.

Banks tellers can now take smoke breaks
Gone are the spending days of December when people didn’t even bother to locate the price tag before buying. This is also the only time during the year when you see banks empty and longer queues at cash loans. It is heaven for bank tellers for the reasons that no one has time to complain and for the first time in 12 months, they can take smoke breaks and the ladies even have spare time to fix the make-up.

Everyone is losing weight
It is around this time that gyms are full and boot-camp trainers are scoring what’s left of keDecember. For some reason, many escape from their usual after work lives by signing up at the gym. This means, after work to the gym and then straight home to sleep and the routine is repeated the next day.  For some reason, everyone is on a weight-losing mission, even the slim bodies. Come the first week of February, the gyms are dry and instructors have no one to instruct.
All of a sudden alcohol is bad
In January, the only thing people have to show for their “good life “ with expensive bottles of alcohol are TBT moments of the days that were. Surprisingly in January, many pursue sober habits for obvious reasons. What is left can no longer be used for koloko as the kids need school uniforms, electricity units are going down, the fridge is having an all-white party and basics such as buying onions and cooking oil need to be met. For the above reasons, do not be surprised that when your friend says he is becoming a teetotaler. What can also be associated to the trend of adapting sober habits is the fact that all of a sudden no one wants to chill. Call a friend today and listen to all the excuses.

You hear no Vrrrrrrrr-pahhs
It spread like wildfire late last year and those with the VWs were the talk of the town. In fact, one didn’t  have to look for them as the sound of the beasts being reved was the complete introduction. They attracted attention in almost every town with the unique sound made by these beauties. Well, things have changed. It’s January and you do not hear the sound anywhere. It takes a lot of fuel to rev a car in January. Fuel prices have gone up and what’s left from December has to the used wisely which includes putting less pressure on the accelerator. You will be surprised how Windhoek drivers are keeping it 60km/h on Independence Avenue. Traffic officers, just like bank tellers have time to sleep on duty with no one disturbing them.

People are less social
Also during this time of the year that people become less social. All of a sudden friends do not want to chill. He who used to tag his friends or side-chicks along for kapana is now seen by himself ordering the minimum – N$10. It is also befitting to ask why people are no longer taking selfies or snapping away with money and all uptown beverages.

The month is longer
For some people, it would be ideal if January was a short month like February because for the first time in all 12 months, 31 days are just too much. The sad news for those who have been struck by the January fever is that we still have a week and a half to go before we say good bye to this long month.

The JanuWorry syndrome seems to have become a habitual visitor as people always complain of the same problems. There are many more symptoms of the month that can be added to the list. However, it is our wish that those whose smiles faded with December 31 will at least have learnt a thing or two.

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