Wednesday 14 April 2021
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It’s Complicated…!

So in the midst of all this tiring days and sleepless nights I decided to just have an hour of not touching any book neither to think about any school related thing. Just before I knew it, I was suddenly caught up in thoughts of how my exam results are going to be.

It just doesn’t go away! My mind navigates around school thoughts every now and then. Oh God, I hate school! But I love learning, so how can that be? Yes I love learning but I hate school, that’s how complicated it is.

I believe that all human beings were born to learn. I believe learning is a critically important part of our very nature. We start learning from the very first day we are born. But learning to me is so much more than sitting in a class and having to pass an exam.

You might be asking what the difference is. Here it is, with school you are taught, get tested, fail and feel like you are the worst thing that has ever happened. With learning you get an exposure to something new, gain knowledge, apply it and feel like you are the best thing that has ever happened. From ever since I can remember, I have always loved learning. Getting new knowledge makes me feel powerful and alive. To gain even a little bit of understanding of and insight into the world and its mysteries fills me with the most incredible feelings of connection, energy, purpose, passion that I am part of something that is bigger than me. Nothing beats the feeling of learning something new.

I have been going to school for more than twelve years and no matter how involved and eager I feel at the beginning of each academic year, I find that as the year progresses it’s the same old set back in recycled perspectives, the same old ways of looking at even new material.

I find that I drag myself to my classes, feeling beaten and battered by the all-nighters I have to pull to get my assignments done, fretting over whatever work I still have to give in and at the same time acquiring no practical learning. I know how to answer but I do not know how to do.

To me, learning is supposed to be an adventure, a journey into the unknown in the pursuit of knowledge. Yet school, the facilitator of learning is like a walled cage that tries to feed me only tit bits and what it feels I need to survive the tests and exams, with very little attention being paid to the skills I need to be acquiring to help me navigate a future that awaits me.

For me, the worst part is feeling that no matter which institution I attend, from primary to tertiary, it’s all the same. One has to sit, listen to a teacher or lecturer in front of them, take long notes, enslave their mind to capture all that and answer questions to test their knowledge. But the truth is students only memorise to pass their tests to proceed to the next level and nothing more hands on.

Nobody understands the love I have to learning. I would spend the most of my life learning and would still want to learn more. I want to do more and gain more other than having to listen more and gain less.

Let’s continue learning, let’s learn more!

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