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Monday 21 January 2019
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When I was a side nigga

I’ve always thought it is easy to make the woman in your life exactly the way you want but my efforts to date have not reaped fruitful results. I mean, it is almost impossible to find a good woman at Chopsi’s and expect to have her prepare a family meal on weekends. So I might as well say it is impossible to turn a saka queen into a house wife. My long track record in dating the wrong people has proven it.

It is a pity that some of us end up dating beauties by the face and dragons at her type of girls. I mean, at this age. It is only fair to be attracted by the beauty.

A few years ago when I wanted to stop my bitchery tendencies, I met a girl who had all the characteristics of a living angel. Well, you know how guys send out invitations to close friends. We always ask them to bring extra friends for company.

I met this young girl called Kasape who came with an invited friend at a behind-the-house party. I swear, this girl was by far the most beautiful woman I have seen – at least in my eyes. She was so pure and breathed innocence with her presence. You could see she is nothing like her friend (at least I thought so) nor was she a quickie advocate. I pulled my strings and a week situationship turned into a relationship.

We dated for three years. And believe me, I never cheated nor have I ever looked at another woman unless she was asking for directions. Satan arrived and temptations for the neighbor dissolved our relationship without any argument. Two years later, we met and we got back together. I guess the magnets were just too strong. She told me she has broken up with her kakunya boyfriend so it was fair that we gave it a try again. After a month or so, our relationship sank when she found out that she was pregnant with a parapara. I did not ask a lot of questions as to why the parapara and not by the kakunya so I just left.

She tried convincing me to stay with crocodile tears and that she was even going to do abortion with the help of her choma kaJulie. I guess I was just too blinded by stupidity because I then allowed her to do whatever.

An innocent life was lost at the hands of these two criminals. I guess I was a criminal too. So we moved on and she was hands-on with driving the relationship and making sure she won her place back. The new relationship was very odd and felt very exaggerated. My name and image was part of everything she did. From Facebook to the bedroom, it was all naked and edited. It though it was love and at some point I even forgot about the rubber.

I marked the exact day and time we last had sex before I left the country for four days and when I returned, I was lectured into another break-up. She told me she cheated on me and she got pregnant (again) with some guy from that kapana location. You can imagine the questions that ran in my mind about who the real father is but I left it to the wisdom that only mothers know the fathers of their children. But besides that, I also started questioning her honesty because this guy from the kapana location happens to be the same kakunya idiot whose baby she aborted some time ago.

God is big and only He understands His people. Since that day, any woman with the name Kasape is synonymous to a human being devoid of dignity and truth.

I’m narrating this story because many of you are in relationships of the above kind. You are her source of excitement thinking you are the “ish”, but little do you know that you are just the side nigga. You have become comfortable that you even forgot of the safe sex rules, little do you know that you are not the only one rendering your services with her. And don’t ask me about the service history of the others because the fluids you have shared have already sunk in.

I know it is hard to know where you stand with your girlfriend because all you get is the word from her mouth. Just because she has you as her MCM does not mean you are the only guy in her life. Just like side chicks, all you are is the poster boy whose image is used to make things look ok. And just because she said she loves you does not mean going 40 is supporting evidence- you are not the only guy who hits that thing nyama.

So brothers and good friends, we have big competition these days. Women are proving to us that they can cheat and have a bigger circle, just like us. Not all women but that’s now the problem because you wouldn’t know which is safe.

So when trying to understand my current character, have it in mind that I was screwed ones by a Kasape from this society. I thought I was the main man but it turned out that I was even worse than a side nigger. My Kasape got pregnant twice under my performances and it was not my baby.

So take care guys. There are many Kasapes out there.

Sharpies…




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