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Friday 18 January 2019
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Please come back !

If there is one thing I do not like its sharing. Call me selfish but it is just something I will never make peace with. You can take my phone and credit, steal my shoes, play with my laptop or even take my food, maara aikona, leave my women. As many as they may seem to you, I like them in number so that no one is left out. I learned from my President.  Harambee mos!

Anyways, I witnessed a few women in different places over the weekend and I could not help to wonder what they really want in life. Is it to be social and party their lives away or is it really to one day be walked to the altar. Tell me whatever you want but I’m not taking the following women home.

You cannot be the type of women who is only known when there is a house party and told to bring your friends along or rather padkos for the boys to eat and expect to be taken for real. I mean, if you are the binge drinker and your bed never sees you during the weekend, how in your living dreams do you think Mr Right will come. People like you are my favourites though because I at least have some playmates. When the right time comes, I will get rid of them and get a real woman. I am not sorry to say this but you can really not behave like a joke and expect people not to laugh.

I also enjoy the girls who post on their Facebook walls looking for transport to go out of town. How do you pay for this generosity? I implore not to catch any of my side chicks do this. If you claim to have money, why don’t you go the bus station and travel like everybody for Satan’s sake? We all know that fuel is expensive and not even a pastor would offer you free ride. Unless you will be paying at every resting tree. Think whatever you want but be guaranteed that no proper man would want his children to say their mom at some point used to have such posts on their wall.

Somebody advised me the other day that I should stop screwing around people’s future wives. As if I really cared. But when my day to get settled comes, I refuse to wed a woman who has had more than seven relationships. On the same note, I also refuse to wed someone who made out with the whole kasi like a tester or sample can of Indian perfume in Post Mall Street. How tired and full of experience will you be? I get shocked when I hear a 25 year-old kasi girl has slept with more that 30 random guys at her age.

Count how many you have slept with and I dare you to scream out the number confidently. Even if you become a born again, I unfortunately do not believe in second chances. I have done the sleeping around enough to get someone with bible-length years of experience.

Lastly, if you are the type of girl who currently dates for milking and life support reasons, then I am equally sorry. I’m not your daddy nor am I Old Mutual. If you are the type of woman who now kama wants a well-off guy to provide you with all your needs, guys like myself are not taking home blood-sucking parasites. I’m looking forward to marry an independent woman and not one who will turn me into an ATM and a caretaker.

So madam DopeQueen, Swaggalicious, MshashoQueen, GMBbae, FreshBabe Ya Roka, BaeSpantaneous, DopeKidFresh and those who claim to have attended School Queen of Shimwenyo and an MD at PartyLife Ent- I regret to inform you that you are also not going to take my hand when it’s time to go home. Real men love women who are proud of who they are. I refuse to be tagged in a Facebook post reading MfK is in a relationship with QueenBeautyVanDieLekkerLewe’. Sorry.

Do not get me wrong, It’s fine to have fun but make sure you have the right audience when you do so because guys are very picky when it’s time to take home. I repeat- guys are very picky when it’s time to take home. I did not say when it’s time to take you to the bedroom or nearest toilet.

The truth can be denied but not avoided so it does not help trying to play innocent. Men will make a u-turn the moment they realise you are not what they are looking for. If your logbook is as full as the number of problems Wambo guys go through with their Damara baby mamas, forget! Kill your dreams because you are not asleep in the first place.

We want someone with a clean reputation, don’t mind mine. Selfish but it’s unfortunately how things are. So if you are gonna f*ck up, sleep out in every comfortable bed and club out all weekend under the pretext of having fun, enjoy. While you are out breaking it down on the dance floor and have every guy spank your butt calling you a good dancer, be informed that I’m not scouting for a club dancer to wed.

People are busy building reputations for serious life partners so come back before it’s too late.

Sharpies…

Facebook:The Undisciplined Child-MfK

Email:kasiconfessions@gmail.com




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