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Monday 21 January 2019
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When Guys Turn Off

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The fundamentals of a man’s role in keeping a woman happy are usually among some of the most profound topics on the usual ‘guys night outings.’ So much so, that few men discuss what issues actually lead them to tick a woman off their most wanted list – not to say, any such a list exists. It can be argued that for a man to even have a formidable woman’s attention, he must be doing something right. The question raised in this article is in the event of a switching of sides, what could she possibly do wrong to convince a man that she is not his missing rib. What turns a man off? The views expressed do not apply to all men, but most men have at least one of these items on their tab.
 
Short Fuse
Most men are prone to make silly mistakes. It sometimes becomes so prevalent that some men have categorized what level of offence is worth the scolding and which one can be simply brushed off as boys being boys. This is not the case with the significant others who expect a perfect slate of a gentleman. Girls that are easily annoyed about small things don’t quite garner the positivity they hope to inspire. “I come home after midnight with no solid reason, scold me… I drink all the milk that you wanted to use to bake me something, most definitely scold me. But now you’re upset that I replied after 10 minutes, come on!” So says Temwani Ndhlovu.
 
Personal Hygiene
This seems quite a big one especially for gentlemen who themselves pay quite the attention to their looks and wellbeing. Chris Mweu advises young ladies to stay confident in their wellbeing, “if you can’t feel good about yourself, how do you expect some guy to do so?” he said. Whereas some men will pay little attention, the delicate nature of a lady’s body requires just as much attention. And some guys have taken it upon themselves to identify an inability to meet these hygiene standards.
 
Fashion Police
Some men like a long dress – well covered lady, others prefer one with a little valuables to show. But rest assured that one that likes a given dress code, most likely, dispels the other. This is a sensitive issue for most gentlemen; who walks next to them. What he considers as presentable, if you run into his aunt at the supermarket. It usually has a lot to do with the gentleman’s upbringing from Mweu’s experience. “What kind of women he had around him growing up and the dress codes he was familiarized with at an early stage, I think matters a lot in influencing his preferences at a later stage.”
 
Babe, May I Please Have
Now this is a serious topic among both sexes. According to Ken Simmons It is automatically expected that the man by playing the role of the ‘boo’ takes responsibility of some financial expenses of the lady. As the old adage goes ‘what’s yours is ours – what’s mine is mine’, and this to a large extent is true. Most men are not particularly opposed to the idea of being asked for one thing or another – It’s when the significant other becomes a dependent that dust begins to rise. The idea of an independent woman is actually an appealing one among most born-frees. “Keep your own, I’ll keep mine, and when you really cant I’ll definitely come through. And please, carry some ‘just in case’ money when out on a date.” Says Joshua Banderu
 
The Guy’s Girl
Jerome Ndjadila says “Your best friend is a guy. Your contact list is packed with guy after guy, all of whom call in once in a while ‘just wondering what you’re up to.’ You have a whole album of pictures of other guys in your phone, from apparent cousins, to former classmates, and workmates, even your ex’s!” Some men like to feel exclusive, they get into relationships to guarantee that; but when the lady is ‘friends’ with every Tom, Dick & Harry, relationships have ended for much less reasons.
 
Dating The Team
Steve Harvey in his Best selling ‘Think Like a Man, Act like a Woman’ writes that as a lady you must “…be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship—and me. They can’t be all out in it at all times.” This is in reference to your friends. It starts with simple things like date nights that are supposed to be for two ending up being a crew-thing. Then it progresses to single friends being chief advisers of every move in the relationship and even calling the guy to criticize him on their girls’ behalf. Soon they’re asking for bailouts and holding sleepovers in your apartment. Like every potential viral disease, kill it at the root, clear that typing pad with inside information about your relationship. Stop telling your girls about ‘we did this we did that’. It’s important for you to have advisers, because even we do consult our boys. But be rest assured that my boys don’t know that you use your left hand to pull the napkin over your lap before you clear your throat 3 times, sip some water, then ask for the salt every night during dinner – It’s just not their business!
 
The X Factor
“Some ladies just can’t get over their ex, now you’re left there to wonder why she left him if she still wants to hang around him,” says Jerome. In most cases you can’t completely blame the girl – the dude was an awesome dooshbug. It’s too much pressure to have to discover ways of impressing you, only to realize that all the while you’re just architecting him into a figure of your ex – not cool at all. So “lay off your ex if you’re going to move on. It’s only appropriate that we both do.”
Lastly, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Anonymous.
By Stephen Nyoni



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