Thursday 6 May 2021
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Confused troubled child

Some call me crazy, fun and unapologetic; others say I have zero manners at all. The truth is, I really do not care with all these people. I refuse to go on like that Kuryangava artist who just started singing yesterday and already claims to have haters.
If there is one question I could never answer, it’s why I do certain things. Just because you would never be able to get an answer out of me.

Is it right to say some people deserve to be screwed? Why? Because I can. Some people actually ask for it.
I have more than one woman. Why? I do not know. I do however know the type I would not want to have. I have limits too, you know. On top of it, it’s not like they do not know I have plenty. And stupidly, they have no problem with it, so why should you care?
First things first. I get irritated, so does your tagged future baby daddies, when you treat me as an emotional support. When I call you to come over, it is strictly bedroom business and not rehab or counseling sessions. So you coming to tell me your life problems and how things are not adding up is just pure k*k. ‘Come over so we chill’ does not mean I want to hear your newly acquired problems. There are reasons I never liked mathematics so we can solve your problems tomorrow and do the visit now.

By the way, I am thinking of purchasing my own car for a bit of flexibility. Not that I will be cheating more but just for a bit of mobility and with a view to extending my services to a few more. Especially those in the informal environments. And I also just think it better done in a car than the nearest public wall. So bye-bye to adjusting my balls in public. Keep a close eye and get to know where the same hand that will caress your face has been.

For as long as I remain who I am and not the better me, I will continue to cat-call women. All the way from the caveman era to now, there has never been an instance of successful cat-calling. And yet, it prevails. Do you really expect me to remember all your names? To avoid calling you the girl’s name from who I came before coming to you, I will maar call you bubu, angel and the …licious-ending adjective.

During my three days out of town over the weekend, I met a rather innocent and harmless delectable whom I pursued with the intentions of leaving a mark on that town. Got all that on day two and it was not an easy one. A day after I left and she asks me why I am not texting her. Seriously? Who campaigns after elections? When last did you see Hage? Tjiri mbuae.

I do not know if it is right but my side-chick’s best friend is the thing. Times come when I wish I met her before the current one. I know it is an evil thought but it explains a lot about why my vaste refuses to introduce me to her pack of queens. She sends me more texts than the main side-chick, so can you really blame me? Plus it’s not like she doesn’t know. It has been done before so I may as well do it.
And by the way, I like you as natural as possible. I will ignore you on the days when you shade your face. We played that shit on paper with crayons in grade 1. Those new eyelashes and lipstick, I will ignore. Maybe you will get the hint that I like you for who you are. It’s not like we are going far, by the way. I honestly just want to save you the hard work… for the right man. That is if you ever find one because the current may just be another chapter.

People like myself will have you devote all your years to us, only to realise I was the ‘Wrong Turn’ in your life. Women can sometimes be obstinate and remain devoted to guys who are not worth it. And I can mention names. Of course, you think he is going to change. Figure out a way to find out the how and share that with the rest. For now, I will keep the blind ones by my side. I have nothing to lose. I get her to plan a wedding (in her dreams) while meanwhile I am planning the next date or invite.
The moral of the story? There are things I do (and I know many of my brothers out there do) just for the mere fact that we can. Awful, I know. I would not want the same for my loved one. So the least I could do is spill a few of these things and it’s up to you to choose to comprehend.

Do not be the reason heartless guys like myself do things just because they can. Stop wasting your life with someone who does not make time to think about the ‘wedding.’ Do not waste your time with someone who postpones your problems. Do not be with someone who does not want to date you every day. Your parents gave you a name and last time I checked, it was not bubu. It’s all up to you for the choosing.

Facebook:The Undisciplined Child-MfK

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