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Thursday 18 July 2019
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The Hustle of a Confused Student

Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. Having been away from school for a little while, I could not wait for it to start again. I just missed being at school you know – the tests, class debates, you name it all. But as much as I wanted school to start I don’t want it to start anymore, yes I don’t want school to start.
Here is why. The first week of school had already burst my bubble, my expectations of how amazing this semester was going to be are shattered to the very core and my quality of life has plummeted. It is safe to say that this semester is just going to be another struggle.
I know that I am probably complaining so much but is it perhaps laziness or am I just being ungrateful for this opportunity? I honestly can’t answer you. From as far back as kindergarten, school stifles my life. I just have to pull myself together and get over it because we all have to work, who do I think I am? Let me first say, I don’t think I am some sort of princess that deserves the world, I don’t think I’m special better than everyone or that I deserve to have anything and everything handed to me on a silver platter. I believe in the concept of working for what you want in life and have always been a hard worker in school.
A wise man once said that the danger with our generation is that we want to eat dinner in the morning which is very true. We are so obsessed with speed and we expect things to come easy but as I always say, nobody ever promised that it was going to be easy. Sometimes we yearn for things that we do not want to sweat for.
I love the idea of knowing how amazing life can be but being stuck in the rut of assignments and a whole lot of research is an awful sentiment. I would love to travel and learn from the places and people that I meet and become all that I aspire to be but the idea of having to pull all-nights for a distinction or an assignment is completely unfathomable to me. I suppose it is the feeling of being trapped that is ultimately too much to handle. I do have supportive friends, but they clearly cannot relate to my mindset and dismiss it as me being lazy, as most people understandably would. All I want for myself is to do what I love and have the freedom to improve myself, learn, interact with interesting people and have novel experiences and finally, help the needy.
From ever since I can remember, I have always loved learning. Getting new knowledge makes me feel powerful and alive. To gain even a little bit of understanding of, and insight into the world and its mysteries fills me with the most incredible feelings of connection, energy, purpose, passion that I am part of something that is bigger than me. I love trying and I love learning the most. I am a huge proponent of self-improvement BUT I hate school.What a dilemma?
The sad truth about this whole situation is that I have come too far to give up and honestly have no reason of throwing in the towel. That’s how it all starts I believe. Everyone else started from the bottom and of course with blood, sweat and tears, you are guaranteed to reach the ultimate destination.
The hustle is real…
Womandla!




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