Wednesday 12 May 2021
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Apology not accepted


Imagine if I was the one whom you all had to come to for forgiveness. Heaven would not be as crowded as it is today. Mara just imagine if I was the comrade who sat in the chair up there with the eraser and all of you lined up with your papers full of sin and asked me to cleanse it all over again.
It’s not that I wish to have all that power but it’s just that I feel some people need no forgiveness if it were up to me. Is it only me or has everybody learned that many people take others for sh*t just because they have mastered the call to be forgiven? So if it was me, down with the apologies.
You kama have to forgive 70 × 7 – according to a verse I landed on when I read my brother KC’s Bible this weekend. I have not bothered counting that expression because I feel no normal human being can be that k*k to people and still want to be forgiven.
So madam has had her fair ride to life from as young as 16. She has played enough in the rain without a raincoat. The hospital staff and even the security guard knows her cup of tea the moment she enters the door. She has mastered the price list of all beverages and locations of all shebeens but failed both geography and accounting in grade 9. I bet she even knows the smell that differentiates whiskey from brandy. Do not ask me how she performed in physics. She left school for someone’s wheels and is seen at every graduation party celebrating the victory of those she left in school. She has pretty much enjoyed everything you wish to enjoy 10 years from now – only that she took the short cut. And now she is weak to the last eye muscle.
On the other hand, my brother has replicated the same sh*t. He has drowned in beer bottles uncountable times. He is the architect of going 40 because he is smart enough to buy the morning-after-pill before engaging in coitus with Babe 1 to 7. His list of side chicks is endless. He knows them by name and location but has never seen their health passports nor does he mind where else they borrow sugar. He spends his premature salary recklessly on pleasure and does not know the price of 1kg Braai pack. He has last seen his ID months ago because it is kept hostage from those whom he borrowed money from, to shine during the Sunday session. He has fok*l papers to secure him any leadership position. The only experience he has and hopes to secure him a job is being the admin of a ‘Sunday Session’ WhatsApp group.
So now these two have come of age and have been slapped by reality and they now wanna make peace with society. The same girl and guy we saw having countless and random quickies are now at church seeking for forgiveness and a new beginning. The guy is now looking for a ‘decent’ woman and one wonders who is going to marry the ones he screwed. The woman on the other side is also looking for a ‘perfect’ man who can take care of her and has dreams to have a future together. Half of the men in the congregation know her from head to toe and they give her the ‘by the way’ look. Mara madam and the comrade are serious this time around and all they pray for is forgiveness and a better life. With who? Mxxxm!
So if I was that guy whom these people all knelt down to apologise, they can all go futsek with their apologies. I’m sure not even Satan who likes bad things would forgive your sorry butt. I refuse to be the soft hearted idiot who refuses to see beyond the obvious and continue living with the hope that people will change just because they can apologise. Take it from me, if that idiot screws you in any way, they will do it again and over again regardless of the tears they shed during the apology.
There is a reason why foreigners have come to form these Pentecostal churches. That is where the biggest sinners are so send that idiot there and let them become born-again. Because in my books, there is no room for forgiveness.

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