Why is that when you’re done with school, especially university, your family automatically make you out to be an ATM and when they look at you all they see are dollar signs? Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one to be selfish. I can be sparing but never selfish. But it just boggles my mind that a whole grown ass adult will constantly wait for your paycheck to land, like it is their own.
You spend late nights working hard, breaking your head over intense tasks. You go through extreme extents to save up and spend wisely. At the end of the day some one rocks up, with a sappy story they forgot they told you 4 months ago and you say you can’t, but your can’t is not good enough so they try to emotionally manipulate you. And knowing me I always fall for it.
Now here’s the deal, we might say I’m being selfish as hell and that I’m not grateful for all that has been done for me in the past. That’s fair, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. First of all I’m terrible with money, like “I walk into Spar and come out with a sofa” bad with money and trying to save up is such a stretch for me that it legit feels like torture.
With that said having family constantly on my back for money is that torture multiplied. I’m technically suppose to have cash lying around, so helping them is something I’d do quick, no two questions asked. But now it all boils down to – if I do not stand my ground and be firm with my intentions, then the people I love most will be the same people that will drag me down or leave you in a space of constant stagnation.
Sounds a bit harsh but think of it like this, you’re saving your butt off, depriving yourself from everything you want and don’t need, only for someone to take that which you have saved and you never getting it back – it’s family we all know how it goes, what is borrowed is given and never lent. And all you have to show for it is a family member that you can expect back in the next few weeks again. They will hit you with the most intense excuse and reasons and don’t you even dare think that they will let you say no. They think you make a lot of money and you might, but what they never realize is that your income is there to sustain you and not pocket money.
We have bills people! Like legit bills! I’m only a young adult straight out of university, not only am I getting use to living on my own and having to buy my own bedding for the first time in my life, but what the hell is TAX!? Like can I see what my tax is doing, I miss her. She is apart of me but I never get to see her, but that’s a story for another time.
Secondly we have family members that just constantly make terrible decisions, family members that just never know when common sense need to be applied. Now these family members just make life so hard for me, they drain the meaning of life out of me, it’s so hard to be in the same room without having the urge to yank their teeth out.
They come to you like the rest with the same dramatic story, but deep down you know the bra just wants to have kayoung chill with his pals and jol the night away – with your hard earned and saved N$800. And the worst part of it is they’d use their children as collateral to a story that they felt needed more validation. What if one day I decide genoeg is genoeg, tot hier en nie verder nie?And that is the day your child actually really need those nappies and formula.
I would just love for everyone to understand the implications of the pressure they put on their family and maybe friends, when they constantly hassle the same person for a little bit of cash. Think of that person, try to understand why it is that they don’t seem happy helping you out. Your habitual request are becoming so normal that we expect your texts before FNB sends us our direct deposit SMS.
I always say I wish I could make enough money that I would be able to bless a different someone with a gift every month. I’d love to take my younger nieces, nephews and cousins out for bowling, but First I got to stop looking at socks as a high risk investment.
With all of this said I just pray that we all get to a point of in life where we learn to put ourselves in the next persons shoes and just view situations in their light. Let’s not take for granted and advantage of people who really have good hearts and just want to help out. Don’t leech on other people if you know they seem uneasy about it.
We might not realize this now but knowing karma and knowing her well I would hate for anyone to be in this situation, I wouldn’t want anyone feeling like trash because they had to say no to people who are in need.